


It Changes Everything

by irena_adler



Series: Watson [15]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-21
Updated: 2015-11-21
Packaged: 2018-05-02 20:18:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5262098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irena_adler/pseuds/irena_adler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>  Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Revelations

Originally published: 10/13/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 1  


**Pairing:**

David/Colby, Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 1 - Revelations  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18. Read my other stories instead. ;)**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  It takes place after "Wrestling" (and all the rest of my other stories too).

 

 

FBI Special Agent Colby Granger was so angry that he was seeing spots in front of his eyes.The styrofoam cup in his hand was crushed to bits.

“You did what?” he snarled.

FBI Special Agent David Sinclair held up his hands defensively.“Hey, Charlie came on to me.”

“I don’t believe you.” Colby leaned forward, holding tightly to the remains of his coffee cup.He didn’t care that hot coffee was all over his hand.If he let go of that cup, he was going to kill David.

David backed away from the look in Colby’s eyes, until he was against the inside of the car door and couldn’t go any farther.“I told Don and I’ll tell you – Charlie doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to do.”

“You, you … _ruined_ him”

“With sex?”David shot back. “Did I ruin you?Or Don?”

“No, but we’re adults.”

David laughed harshly.“Why is it that no one realizes that Charlie is an adult too?I swear, you and Don have him stuck at fifteen.”

Charlie gritted his teeth and asked, “When?”

“Right after we solved the Mason case.That was the first time.”

“First-- You’ve had him more than once?”

“Several times.Once with Don.”

“With _Don_?”Colby choked out. “Together?”

“Yeah,” David grinned. “That was one incredible night.”

Colby fumbled for the door handle behind him.He yanked on it and practically fell out of the car.Forget the fact that they were supposed to stay in the car and quietly watch their suspect.Forget that it was three o’clock in the morning in one of the toughest neighborhoods in LA.If he didn’t get away from David right now, he would snap that scrawny neck.

He stumbled along the sidewalk, not looking where he was going.

_Charlie, Charlie, what has he done to you? To_ my _Charlie._ Okay, so Charlie didn’t belong to Colby in any way but inside his own head, but David had just used Charlie as some easy sex toy. David didn’t care about Charlie, not like he did.To David, Charlie probably was just another conquest, another way to get his rocks off.To Colby, Charlie was anything but.For so long he had wanted to kiss Charlie, to touch him, to _love_ him.

Colby didn’t know when he first started wanting Charlie.When he started making a point to be the one who went to Charlie’s office.When he began watching Charlie instead of listening to him.When his fantasy women all started to have black curly hair.It certainly wasn’t anything he ever let himself acknowledge, not until David had initiated him into the idea of sex with men.

A couple of months ago, when they were in Watson, Colby had found himself falling in love with Don.He’d gotten quite angry at himself for it.Imagine being in love at the same time with two brothers.Colby had always been attracted to smart women and the Eppes brothers were both off the charts.

Looking back, Colby now realized that what had called to him that week was Don’s vulnerability, his uncertainty.Colby had wanted to cherish and protect Don, and at that time Don had let him.He hadn’t seen that side of Don since and wasn’t sure he would again.

Just a few weeks ago, Colby had spent a wonderful weekend with Don.Well, most of the weekend had been wonderful.The sex in the FBI’s wrestling room and in the showers had been incredible and fulfilled more than a few of Colby’s fantasies.Friday night had been good too, sleeping entwined at Don’s apartment.They’d spent Saturday together, watching TV, shooting basketball, playing cards, interspersed with mind-blowing sex.It hadn’t really felt romantic, more like good buddies who fuck, but Colby had let himself begin to hope that it might develop in a romantic direction.He could so easily love Don, if Don would just let him.

They’d gone to sleep in Don’s bed Saturday night with every expectation of spending Sunday the same way as Saturday.Colby had woken up with a very different Don Eppes.Sometime while Colby had been sleeping, Don had looked at himself and realized what he was doing.Colby didn’t really know what Don had thought, but in the morning Don was distant, cold and Colby had left quickly.

Colby had decided later that Don had been terrified.Frightened by his sexual choices, by a future that must have looked bleak and perilous.Unshakable Don Eppes, who was never afraid of anything, had been petrified by the thought of being gay.

At work after that, Don had put as much space as possible between Colby and himself.He made a point of never being alone with Colby, only talking to Colby as a coworker.Colby hoped he’d done a good job of hiding his hurt and disappointment.Don made it extremely clear that he thought their time together had been a mistake and would never happen again.He had shut down, walled himself off, and would never let Colby love him.

_But Charlie …_ Charlie might let him. __

Colby sighed to himself as his stumbled along the sidewalk.Charlie was all that was attractive in Don, wrapped up in that sweet, arrogant package.Colby desperately wanted to soothe his fears, rub his aching temples, kiss him until there was no room in Charlie’s world for worry or pain. _Oh, and also fuck him senseless._

He’d about taken David’s head off about Charlie once before, when he found out that David had brought Charlie to an open plaza where a sniper was waiting.That Charlie might have been shot, might have _died_ before Colby even met him was too horrible to contemplate.

Now Colby was here, wandering the worst streets in LA, looking for someone to take out his frustrations on.

He must have been radiating danger because no one even approached him.He gritted his teeth and walked down several dark alleys, but no luck.Not one person to beat up.

Eventually he gave up and made his way back to David’s car.He stood behind it, staring at David who was watching the door the suspect had gone in.Colby was supposed to be watching the surrounding area.

Colby walked around the side of the car and opened the door.David had his gun out on his lap and Colby felt a little ashamed for abandoning him in the middle of a stakeout.But he’d been seriously provoked.

David pointed the gun at Colby then relaxed.“Where the hell you been?” he snapped.

Climbing into the car, Colby locked the door.“I needed a walk.”

“Here?Now?”

“Yeah.”

“Feel better?”

“Some,” Colby lied.

“I never expected you to have such a strong reaction,” David said defensively.“I won’t mention it—“

“You’re going to tell me about it, _all_ about it, every little detail,” Colby stated firmly.“And I’m going to blow you while you do.”

“Granger,” David choked.“This is not the time or place.”

“Like hell,” Colby said.“It’s either get a blowjob or get your neck snapped, which would you prefer?”

David smiled weakly.“Well, if you put it like that.Just hope that our guy doesn’t pick this moment to come out of hiding.”

David moved his seat away from the steering wheel and leaned the seat back.Impatiently, Colby reached for David’s zipper and yanked it down.He reached into his jeans and pulled out David’s dark cock, still soft in his hand.

Colby hungrily sucked it into his mouth.When David didn’t say anything, Colby lifted his head and glared at him.

“Okay, okay.”David put his head back and rested his eyes on the door they were watching.He kept his gun close to hand.

While David told him about the morning that Charlie caught David at Don’s apartment, Colby gripped the base of David’s cock and licked it to hardness.David recounted how Charlie had pursued him, cornered him in the file room.Colby sucked the dark head of David’s cock in and out.David described Charlie as he appeared on his doorstep in the middle of the night, soaked with rain.Then grunted as Colby squeezed too hard on his cock.Colby mumbled an apology and loosened his grip.

While Colby roughly sucked his cock, David told him about the shower, Charlie’s reaction to being fucked, and waking the next morning to Charlie’s mouth on his cock.Colby’s own cock was growing hard with the taste of David in his mouth and the images of Charlie that David was building in his mind.

When David started telling him about how Don had found out and beat him up, Colby felt a surge of empathy for Don.There’d been a lot of speculation around the office what the fight was about but the generally accepted view was that it was over a woman.It was a good thing that Colby hadn’t known that David and Don were fighting about Charlie.Colby wouldn’t have let David walk out of that garage.

David recounted the second time he’d had Charlie.Charlie had been much more confident, more explicit on what he wanted.David had fucked him up against one of the chalkboards in Charlie’s garage, and Charlie had returned the favor on top of the air hockey table.The idea of fucking Charlie against a chalkboard sent a jolt to Colby’s cock, which was already aching with arousal.

The story of the third time, when David had enjoyed Don and Charlie together, made Colby moan with envy.David told him about taking both Don and Charlie’s cocks at the same time and Colby had to reach down and pull his own cock out of his jeans.The head of it was already slick with pre-cum.Three strokes and he was coming all over the seat, gasping around David’s cock.

David rushed through the details on that third encounter and Colby felt David nearing his orgasm.Colby lifted his head and smiled at David.Then he reached down, grabbed David’s balls, and gave them a quick twist, shutting off David’s coming orgasm.

David cried out in surprise and shock.“What the fuck?”

“Promise me,” Colby said.“That you won’t touch Charlie again unless I say you can.”

“Fuck you,” David snapped.

Colby twisted David’s balls harder, no doubt crossing the line from discomfort to pain.“Promise.”

“Shit!Okay, okay!”

Colby released David’s balls and David shoved his cock deep into Colby’s throat, gagging him.David held down Colby’s head, fucking his mouth unmercifully.Colby struggled to breathe.David groaned and began pumping his cum down Colby’s throat.Colby swallowed urgently, straining for air.

Finally David released his grip on Colby’s head and Colby pulled away, gasping.

For a moment, David and Colby glared at each other.Then David’s lips quirked and they both began laughing.They’d each gotten the best of the other.

David zipped his pants back up and Colby grumbled at the mess he’d made on the seat and his jeans.He found some old tissues and wiped up.

Colby sat back up and a satisfied post-orgasm silence fell over them.

After a while, Colby said quietly, “I know your promise was made under duress—“

“Extreme duress.”

“But I’m gonna hold you to it.”

David tilted his head and looked at Colby.“You are?”

“It’s important to me.”

Colby felt David studying him for a moment.

“I can see that,” David said at last.“It’s gonna be hard to keep my hands off of Charlie, but I will keep my promise.Just don’t take too long.”

Colby braced himself for David’s questions of why it was so important to him.

Thankfully, at that moment, their suspect came bursting out of the door and pointed a semi-automatic in their direction.

 


	2. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/14/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 2  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 2 - Plans derailed  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18. Read my other stories instead. ;)**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  It takes place after "Wrestling" (and all the rest of my other stories too).  Thanks to my betas!

 

Colby was at a loss.He knew how to infiltrate an enemy troop, kill a man with his bare hands, shoot the center of a target a hundred yards away, but he had no idea how to approach Charlie.He couldn’t exactly say, ‘Hey Charlie, David said you were into sex with guys now.How about you give me a try?’David was getting impatient with him, chafing at the promise that Colby had extracted.Colby had come over to Charlie’s office on the pretense of checking Charlie’s progress on a case for Don, but really to try and make some sort of start on his own personal case.

Colby stood by Charlie’s desk while Charlie gathered together some file folders to take to the FBI office.Colby fished around in Charlie’s gumball jar and found one of the few remaining red ones.His mind seemed completely devoid of words.Charlie had looked at him curiously, and Colby knew he must be acting weird, but at the moment he’d rather walk naked into a Taliban encampment than ask Charlie for a date.

With one last questioning look, Charlie headed out the door.Colby wished for the days when Charlie didn’t drive and had to be chauffeured anywhere.As it was, they would just meet at the FBI office, but Colby found himself walking next to Charlie towards Charlie’s car, in the opposite direction of Colby’s own car.They walked silently.Colby wasn’t even sure Charlie knew he was there. Charlie’s active brain was probably still tied up in the problem that Don had set him.In contrast, Colby’s brain was still empty of anything useful to say to this brilliant, attractive person at his side.

A large, dark-haired man approached Charlie and said, “Dr. Eppes?”

Charlie said foggily, “Yes. Do I—“

The man raised a gun.

Colby’s hand was instantly at his hip, pulling his gun.He stepped in between the man and Charlie.He shoved Charlie backwards and yelled, “Run!”The man smacked Colby’s gun from his hand, but instead of diving after it, like the man expected, Colby snapped his fist forward and took the man in the jaw.Two short jabs and Colby knocked away the man’s gun and drove him to his knees.

“Stop!” A harsh voice snapped.

Colby spun around … and froze.Behind him a second man was holding a gun to Charlie’s head.Immediately, Colby held up his hands and cursed himself for not checking that Charlie had gotten away.

The first man picked up both his dropped gun and Colby’s.He pointed the gun at Colby’s head.

“No!” Charlie gasped. “Wait!”

“Yeah,” the second man said unexpectedly.“Two for the price of one.The professor and an FBI agent.”

The first man scowled then nodded.He lowered the gun but before Colby could draw a relieved breath, the man kicked Colby in the stomach.Colby grunted and folded to the ground.The man kicked him again and again, connecting with his side and shoulders and legs, while Colby curled up in a ball and held tight to every instinct to fight back.He knew the man wouldn’t stop shooting him a second time.

“Stop it!” Charlie begged.

“We gotta move,” the other man said at the same time.

A few more good kicks then Colby’s attacker stood back.“Get up,” he snapped.“And don’t try anything.My partner has a very quick trigger.”

Colby stood up slowly, partially to not look threatening, partially because he could already feel the bruises forming across his body.He held up his hands and glanced at Charlie.Charlie was pale and shaking.Colby tried to reassure him with a small smile.

The man came around behind Colby and shoved him towards a nearby van.The back doors swung open and Colby carefully walked towards it.There were two more men inside and they grabbed Colby and yanked him into the van.Colby didn’t resist as he was pushed to the floor, roughly blindfolded and his hands tied behind his back.

Colby was thoroughly searched, patted down from head to foot, every pocket turned out.They found his knife and backup gun.They pulled his cell phone from his belt and Colby felt air from a window being opened nearby.There was a series of distant thunks that told Colby that everything they’d extracted, from wallet to phone to watch, was now at the side of some road.Another series of thunks was probably Charlie’s phone and wallet.

“Who are you?”Colby asked, but got no answer.“What do you want?”

He waited for a moment, but it was clear that their captors had no interest in conversation.

Colby shifted slightly until his shoulder bumped up again another bound body.

“Charlie?” Colby asked, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Charlie said, his voice shaky.

“I’m sorry,” Colby whispered to Charlie.“I should have been more alert.”

“How could you know?”Charlie responded.“We were just walking across campus.”

“I should have known,” Colby repeated stubbornly.“Still, someone must have seen us.The team will be right on our tails.”

“Hmm,” Charlie said, unconvinced.Colby couldn’t offer anything more, since he was sure himself that this operation had been too carefully planned to end that easily.

The van bounced and Colby couldn’t restrain a grunt as his bruised body jostled against the hard floor.

“Are you hurt?”Charlie whispered.Colby could picture Charlie’s blindfolded face turned towards him.

Colby said, “Just bruises, I’m fine.”

“Shut up,” snapped one of their captors and they were silent.There wasn’t much more to say at the moment anyway.Their moment of opportunity would come and Colby needed to be ready for it. _More ready than you were earlier.God, what a fuckup you are, Granger._

Colby rested his head against the cold floor and tried to relax so that he wasn’t bounced as much as the road underneath the van got steadily rougher.He tried to think of an area near CalSci that had bad roads but he just didn’t know this part of the county that well.

After a long while – an hour? – Colby felt the van slowing and stop.He heard the doors swing open and a foot nudging his ribs.He carefully rolled to a sitting position and was manhandled out the door.He stumbled as his feet hit the ground and had to bite down on his training that told him how to take down the men on both sides of him.Not while he didn’t know where Charlie was.

Hands turned him around and shoved him between the shoulder blades.Colby started walking.He heard a soft grunt that he recognized as Charlie’s and a second set of stumbling footsteps.Colby slowed his walk until he could hear Charlie right next to him.

“I’m right here,” Colby whispered.“It’s okay.” _I’ll make it okay._

They were dragged to a stop and turned around.

“Start recording,” said an unknown voice near Colby’s left side.A beep as a video camera was turned on.

Colby’s stomach plummeted.They were filming.They were going to film their execution.After surviving so many things, he was going to die in some deserted spot in LA, blindfolded and helpless, taking Charlie with him.

_No!_

Colby bent his knees and kicked to the side, feeling the satisfying thud of his foot meeting someone’s body.

He tried kicking out again, but hands were on his chest, shoving him backwards.He stumbled and the world dropped out from underneath him.He was falling, falling into a deep hole.

Unable to see it coming, he hit the ground wrong, his body twisted.Pain tore into his side.

Above him, voices talking.Charlie begging.Then a laugh.Then a gunshot.

Adrenaline slammed through Colby. _“Charlie!”_ he screamed.

A dull thump, the sound of a body landing on concrete.

“Charlie?”

No answer.

“No, no, no, no,” Colby moaned.He turned his head and roughly scrubbed his face against the floor until his blindfold slid off on one eye.In the light filtering down from above, he could see they were in some sort of old storage hold.Charlie was lying in a heap on the other side of the small square room.Colby rolled over to him, ignoring the pain that shot through his chest.He struggled to free his hands.

“Charlie?” he asked again, straining to hear if Charlie was breathing.

“Ohh,” Charlie gasped.

“Charlie!” Colby cried, with relief so intense it hurt.“You’re alive!”

“Ohh …”

“What happened?” Colby asked, still trying to free his hands.He finally managed to yank his right wrist out of the rope, losing several layers of skin in the process.He quickly untied his left wrist and tugged off his blindfold.Even in the faint light, he could see a growing patch of blood on Charlie’s right thigh.

“Shot me,” Charlie groaned.“Why?”

“I don’t know.”Colby carefully examined Charlie’s thigh.“Not too bad.”

“Feels bad,” Charlie said, hissing when Colby shifted his leg.

“It’s on the outside of the thigh where there aren’t any major arteries.It went right through.Shouldn’t bleed badly either.”Colby shook his head, confusion warring with relief.“They deliberately didn’t want you to die from this.I can only guess they wanted to film you getting shot to show … Don maybe?”

“Shot me,” Charlie said again in disbelief.

Colby reached for Charlie’s wrist to check his pulse.Charlie’s skin was cold and clammy, his pulse fast and ragged.“Damn, Charlie, you’re going into shock.”

“I just got shot,” Charlie reminded him doggedly.

“Yeah and shock can kill you just as easily as a bullet wound.”

Colby examined their surroundings.It was a concrete room, about ten feet square.The ceiling was at least thirty feet above their heads, with a grill that let in the faint light.Small mounds of leaves and sticks were piled up in the corners and a few empty paint cans lay spread about.

Colby’s attention turned inward to check his own state.He’d been beat up pretty bad by the kidnappers, but it was just superficial, just bruises.The fall had been worse. At least two ribs were broken on the left side of his ribcage.He’d heard and felt the sickening snap.But no bones had come through the skin and there wasn’t any blood, so Charlie wouldn’t have to know.Colby understood how to deal with pain.His brain was already shutting off pain impulses from his ribs.He would pay dearly for that later but at the moment he needed to be alert to help Charlie.

Under Colby’s hands, Charlie had started to shake.

“We need to get you warm,” Colby said, pulling off his light jacket.He draped it across Charlie’s arms.

Pressing his left arm against his broken ribs, Colby stumbled over to the nearest pile of leaves.He was pleased to see that the leaves hadn’t dried out yet.

“What’s wrong with your side?”Charlie asked.

“Just a bruise,” Colby lied.“No big deal.”

“Ok,” Charlie said.“They shot me.”

“I know,” Colby said, picking out the sticks and gathering the leaves together into a pile.“I wish they’d shot me.”He gave a wry laugh.“I’m almost used to it.”

“Getting shot?”Charlie said, startled.

“Lost count of the bullets that have been pulled out of me.”

“From when you were in Afghanistan?”

“There and … other places.”He began the painful walk to the next corner, grabbed as many leaves as he could and carried them back to the first corner.

“In LA?”Charlie asked, watching him.

“Not yet,” Colby said, making his way to the third corner.He was starting to feel lightheaded, so he forced himself to pause and catch his breath even though most of him was screaming he needed to get Charlie warm.

“You okay?”Charlie asked.

“Yeah, just taking a break.”He started moving again and finally got all of the leaves sorted from sticks and piled up in one corner.He gathered together the paint cans and made a small stack of the cans near the leaf pile.He returned to Charlie.

“I need to bind your wound,” Colby said.He thought for a moment then pulled off his tennis shoes.He pulled off both socks, hopefully not too dirty, and put his shoes back on over bare feet.He undid his belt and slid it out of his jeans.He stuffed each sock into a ball.

“Grab my shoulder,” Colby said.

When Charlie complied, Colby said, “Grip it as hard as you need to.This is going to hurt.”

As gently as he could, Colby lifted Charlie’s bloody thigh.Charlie hissed and his fingers dug into Colby’s shoulder.Colby pressed a sock against the entrance and exit wounds and Charlie gasped.Quickly, Colby wrapped the belt around Charlie’s thigh, going around twice, and buckled it.It held the makeshift bandages in place.

Charlie’s hand was trembling harder and Colby looked in alarm at Charlie’s face.It was pale with a sheen of sweat.

Colby swore under his breath and dragged Charlie over to the leaf pile.Colby sat with his back against the cold wall and gritting his teeth against the pain, pulled Charlie onto his lap.

“What?” Charlie said in surprise. 

“Got to get you warm,” Colby said, situating Charlie’s back against his chest, Charlie’s legs on top of his.“Now, I know this is gonna hurt, but you need to put your feet up on the paint cans.”

“Why?”

“It’ll help the blood flow to the parts that really need it.”

With an agonized grunt, Charlie propped his legs up on the cans.He now lay slumped down against Colby’s chest, his ass on Colby’s thighs.Colby was relieved that this also took his weight off Colby’s broken ribs.

“Can you help me pull the leaves over top of us?” Colby asked.

With Charlie’s shaky help, Colby got the leaves over both of their torsos.He packed the leaves as tightly around them as he could.He tucked his jacket around Charlie’s chest and draped his arms around Charlie’s shoulders.Finally, he let himself lean back against the wall and close his eyes.Pain and reaction thudded through him.

_I thought they were going to kill us, right there._ _If they’d killed Charlie …_ His arms tightened unconsciously around Charlie as he remember the horrible sound of Charlie’s body hitting the ground, the terror of finding Charlie dead.

 


	3. Survival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/15/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 3  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 3 - Survival  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18. Read my other stories instead. ;)**

**A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  It takes place after "Wrestling" (and all the rest of my other stories too).  Thanks to my betas!

 

Colby pulled himself together.Charlie was still alive, and it was his job to make sure that Charlie stayed that way.“How are you feeling?” he asked.

“Tired,” Charlie mumbled.

“You can sleep a little, if you want,” Colby said.

“Sleep?” Charlie responded, his voice shading towards fear.“What if I don’t wake up?”

“Of course you’ll wake up,” Colby said soothingly.“And I’ll be right here.”

“They could have _killed_ me.”Charlie began to shake.

Colby lifted a hand and tentatively touched Charlie’s cheek.“But they didn’t.”

“I could have _died_.”Charlie shuddered, a tremor that went through his whole body.

“Shh,” Colby said, keeping all of his own horror out of his voice.“I won’t let them kill you.”

“How could you stop them?”Charlie said accusingly.“You couldn’t stop them from grabbing us.”

“I know,” Colby said, his anger at himself coming back to the surface.“I’m sorry.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Charlie said, deflating.“I know there’s nothing you could have done without getting yourself killed.”

“I should have—“ Colby started.

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” Charlie interrupted.

Colby looked down at Charlie’s head and said quietly, “I’m glad that I walked you to your car.”

“Even though your car was in the other parking lot.”

“Yeah,” Colby said with an embarrassed laugh.“Guess I forgot where I parked.”

“I doubt it,” Charlie replied.

Colby cleared his throat and changed the subject.“So who do you think these guys are?”

Charlie gave a small shrug.“Does it matter?”

“Don’t know,” Colby said. “But it gives us something to talk about.Unless you think you can sleep.It would be good for you.”

“No, no,” Charlie said fearfully.

“Russian mob, I’m thinking.”Colby said.“They never forget and forgive.Taking down Yuri must have really stung.”

“You think this is an attack against Don again, like they were doing before?”

“Not like before.Before they were trying to distract us, now – if it is them – they’re just out for revenge.”

“Do you think they’ll ask for a ransom?”

Colby sighed.“Probably a release of Yuri from prison or something else that the FBI can’t give them.”

“You mean …”

“I mean that we need to sit tight and wait for Don and David and Megan to find us.”

“Even though they don’t have me to help them,” Charlie said.

Colby heard no irony or joking in Charlie’s voice.Colby shook his head, amused as always at the sheer arrogance of the man.It didn’t help that he had a lot to be arrogant about.“I’m sure they’ll muddle along without you.”

“Okay,” Charlie said and lapsed into silence.

_If they don’t find us,_ Colby thought grimly, _we’re dead.The men that dropped us in this hole don’t intend for us to ever leave._ They’d kept them alive for now in case Don demanded proof that they were still alive.But once they’d gotten what they wanted – or decided that they wouldn’t get it – they’d kill him and Charlie.Both for expediency and to hurt Don and the FBI.

Charlie’s breathing seemed to be coming a little easier.In fact, Charlie had, however unwillingly, fallen asleep.

Colby smiled.Sleeping through the worst part of the shock would be the best thing that Charlie could do.Charlie stirred and Colby softly stroked his cheek and made soothing sounds.Charlie settled back to sleep.

A lump in his throat, Colby looked down at the man sleeping in his lap.He’d failed Charlie, failed him in what was probably Colby’s biggest test.If Charlie died, Colby didn’t think he could live himself.It would be just one too many failures in life, one too many friends lost.

_Mark..._

Mark had lain in Colby’s lap, bleeding from the hole in his gut.A hole from a bomb that Colby was too stupid to notice, too slow to stop.Mark had told Colby that it wasn’t his fault, but Colby knew better.Mark had died, his bright life fading from his eyes as Colby watched.

Colby didn’t acknowledge it then, but looking back he could recognize that he had been in love with Mark.That Mark had been more than a very good friend, he’d been someone that he could see sharing the rest of his life with.But Mark had died and left him more alone than ever before.

Many others, too many others, that he’d known had died, but it was Mark’s death that gave him nightmares, woke him up in a cold sweat, made him swear to never get as close to anyone again.

Now here was Charlie, irresistible Charlie, who had quietly taken up residence in Colby’s heart.He lay in his lap like Mark had, the smell of his blood mingling in Colby’s mind with the smell of Mark’s.

Colby sat and watched Charlie sleep, the faint beams of sunlight moving across the floor.Asleep Charlie looked like a little boy, save for the scruff on his chin. Incredible to realize that a world-class brain lived behind that face.Sometimes Colby felt honored to have Charlie work with him.Then again, sometimes Colby felt like wringing the self-absorbed, egotistical bastard’s neck.

Smiling, Colby gazed at Charlie’s face in a way he’d never let himself.Charlie’s lips were slightly parted, his long lashes fluttered against his cheek.His head rested against Colby’s left arm, his hair as soft as Colby had imagined.

_I will die before I let anything happen to you,_ he promised.

Two hours passed as Colby guarded over the sleeping Charlie.His broken ribs throbbed and the aftereffects of adrenaline dragged at him.His eyelids drooped.

“Colby?”

Colby’s eyes drifted open.Charlie was looking up at him.

“Hello, angel,” Colby murmured tenderly.

Charlie blinked at him.“What did you call me?”

Colby came fully awake. _God, did I actually say that out loud?I must be a lot farther gone than I thought._ ‘Angel’ was his personal pet name for Charlie, what he called him in his deepest thoughts.He cleared his throat.“Just checking to see you were really awake.”

“Ah,” Charlie replied, but he didn’t sound convinced.

“How do you feel?” Colby asked quickly.

“Cold,” Charlie complained.

“Still?”Colby frowned.He’d hoped that Charlie would have gotten past the shock by now.He put his fingers against Charlie’s neck.Charlie’s pulse was still thready, his skin still clammy.But he didn’t seem any worse.“Go back to sleep.”

“No!” Charlie said, anxiously. “I don’t want to sleep.What if I don’t wake up?”

“You did this time.”

Charlie twisted around to look at Colby.Colby gritted his teeth at the pain that movement sent through him.

Charlie’s eyes were wide.“But I might not next time!What if I die in my sleep?”

“That’s not gonna—“

“Don’t let me go to sleep!”Charlie’s voice was rising in panic.

“Okay, okay,” Colby said, patting Charlie’s hand.“I won’t let you go to sleep again.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Charlie heaved a sigh and lay back against Colby.Colby felt inordinately pleased that Charlie accepted his promise as truth.

“Anything interesting happen while I was asleep?”Charlie asked.

“Oh, there was a big gun battle and the FBI came rappelling down in here, but I told them to go away and let you sleep.”

“Ha, ha,” Charlie said.

“I know how you need your beauty sleep.”

“I wasn’t really asleep,” Charlie protested. “I was just resting my eyes.”

“Of course.”

Charlie smiled faintly.

Colby cast about for a safe topic.“So, tell me about this cognitive thing you’re working on.”

“My cognitive emergence theory?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you really want to know about it?”Charlie asked dubiously.

“Not really,” Colby answered honestly.“But you always make things like that understandable.And I’d like to understand.”

“Okay,” Charlie said and launched into an explanation of his recent work.

Colby tried to listen, but he was too distracted, too much of his brain occupied by pain and anxiety, too conscious of the man lying in his lap.He gave up and let Charlie’s words wash over him, only noticing the energy and enthusiasm in Charlie’s expressive face.

It was a moment before Colby realized that Charlie had stopped talking.

“You aren’t really listening,” Charlie accused. 

“Sorry,” Colby said.“I’m just preoccupied.”

“… Yeah,” Charlie agreed and lapsed into silence.

Colby brought up other safe topics, like sports – quickly discussed and discarded, movies – they discovered they both had a weakness for old Sci-Fi, and Charlie’s house – Colby got tricked into offering to help Charlie fix his roof.Other topics were tackled, like favorite beer – which just made them both thirsty, Charlie’s recent hiking trip – he had been chased by a raccoon, and Colby’s annoying neighbors – Charlie came up with some creative ways to convince them to be nicer to their dog.

In some ways it felt to Colby like passing the time at a stakeout.But he didn’t usually have his partner in his lap or blood pooling under the skin of his ribcage.

  



	4. The big secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/16/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 4  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 4 - The big secrets  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18. Read my other stories instead. ;)**

**A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  It takes place after "Wrestling" (and all the rest of my other stories too).  Thanks to my betas!

 

The sunlight was fading by the time they finally ran out of conversational steam.Maybe it was just wishful thinking on Colby’s part but Charlie seemed to be breathing easier and sweating less.

At some point in the last few hours, Colby had unconsciously started combing his fingers through Charlie’s curls.Charlie hadn’t complained so Colby continued.He wanted to trace the shape of Charlie’s ears, run his fingers down Charlie’s throat, but he was quite happy just playing with Charlie’s hair.

Charlie was fighting to keep his eyes open, his speech slurring.Colby wished he could let him sleep, but he’d promised. He was determined to keep all promises he’d made to Charlie, whether Charlie knew of them or not.At the moment, Colby couldn’t act on his vow to not let anything more happen to Charlie but he could keep him awake.

_Time to pull out the big secrets._

Colby took a deep breath, as deep as he could manage.“Did you know that I have a little girl?”

Charlie blinked at him, his eyes coming more into focus.“You do?”

“Yeah, she’s four and a half and lives in Michigan with her mom.”

“You were married?”

“No, no, Jenny and I never got married.We were only together for a few months.Nena was a mistake, at least on my side.Not sure about Jenny.”

Charlie looked thoughtful.“Nena.”

“Yeah.When Jenny got pregnant, she wanted to get married, but it was already over between us.Jenny has always been very … wild.I didn’t see any point in getting married if marriage wouldn’t mean anything to her.But I did make sure that I got partial custody.”

“What’s Nena like?”

“She’s a great little girl.I send Jenny money every month to take care of her, but I have no idea if she actually spends it on her.”

“See her?”

Colby grimaced.“Only a few times a year.But I do get her for two whole weeks a year.”

“Fishing.”

“You’re right, Charlie, you’re so smart.”Colby tried to keep his voice casual.He didn’t want Charlie to know what telling him about Nena meant.Not even his family knew about Nena.“That week I took off in the spring and the other one in the fall to go fishing, I actually spent with Nena.We went to the zoo and to the park and just hung out.Every time I see her she’s gotten so much bigger …”

“Does Don know?”

“No,”Colby stroked Charlie’s sweaty forehead then nervously returned to his hair.“I’ve never told anyone about her.”

“Why?”

“Because … because I couldn’t stand to have people ask me about her.”

“Whatcha mean?”

Colby looked away from Charlie’s brown eyes.He desperately didn’t want to talk about this, but Charlie did seem to be more awake.

“I mean that I try most of the time to forget about her,” Colby said slowly.“I can’t stand that I can’t see her more often.That Jenny won’t let me.I worry … I worry that my little girl will soon hate me.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because of Jenny.Because a little girl doesn’t understand why her father can’t be around.” 

“Oh,” Charlie said.“I’d like to meet her.”

Colby smiled.“You like kids?”

“Sometimes.Not babies, babies scare me.They can’t talk.”

“True,” Colby agreed wryly.

“Wow,” Charlie said. “You’re a daddy.”

“Yeah.Not a very good daddy, but still a daddy.”

“I’m sure you’re a good daddy,” Charlie said

“Thanks,” Colby said uncomfortably.“Don’t tell anyone about her, okay?”

“Okay.”

They lapsed into silence, but it was an awake silence.Colby gazed at the grill of their prison.The sun must be setting outside.He wondered what ransom demand had been made and what the reaction had been.He tried very hard not to think about Nena or the man whose head was resting against his stomach.

“Colby,” Charlie asked suddenly. “Why did you call me ‘angel’?”

Colby tried to smile.“I was just testing to see if you were awake.”

Charlie looked up at him.“I don’t believe you.”

There wasn’t any safe response to that so Colby said nothing, his fingers continuing their rhythmic stroking of Charlie’s hair.

“I’m not as oblivious as everyone says I am,” Charlie said.“I’ve noticed you watching me.”

Colby bit his lip and didn’t meet Charlie’s eyes.

“Why do you always watch me and why is it always you that comes to my office now?” Charlie asked.When it became clear that Colby wasn’t going to answer, Charlie said, “Colby?Please talk to me.”

Colby mumbled, “What do you want me to say?”

Charlie twisted around so that he had a good view of Colby’s face.“Tell me the truth.”

Colby realized his hand was shaking, so he took it out of Charlie’s hair and clenched it by his side.Finally he said, “I … I find you … interesting.”

“Interesting like a new weird species of bug?”

“No.Not like a bug.”

“Then how?”Charlie pressed, his brown eyes demanding.

Colby gave a humorless laugh.“I think I better stop talking now.”

“Please don’t,” Charlie said. “I’m sorry I’m making you uncomfortable but I have to know.”

Charlie’s eyes drew an unwilling response from Colby.“Why do you have to know?”

“I …” Charlie frowned.“I spent a lot of my life being afraid of people.But there’s something about a near-death experience … or maybe an ‘I might soon be dead anyway’ experience that helps with the fear thing.”

“I’m not going to let you die,” Colby swore.

“I know,” Charlie said quietly. “Somehow I know that.But I need to know why.Is it just 'cause I’m an asset to the FBI?Your boss’s brother?A cute goofy kid?”

Colby pressed his lips together.

“Colby,” Charlie pushed. “Are you … interested in me?Like, romantically?”

Colby flinched.“God, Charlie, don’t make me say it.”

Charlie reached down and took Colby’s shaking hand in his.“I need to hear it.”

“What will it change?”

“I don’t know, maybe nothing, maybe everything.”

Colby closed his eyes then opened them again.He needed to look at Charlie while he said this.He strained to see Charlie’s face in the fading light.“Yes, Charlie,” Colby said softly. “I’m interested in you, romantically.”

Charlie’s expression didn’t change.He just looked at Colby for a long moment.Colby felt like all the blood had drained out of him and his body was collapsing in on itself.

“I’m glad,” Charlie said at last, almost too quiet for Colby to hear.

“You are?”Colby’s heart lurched back into beating.

“Yeah,” Charlie whispered.

“You mean you …”

“Maybe,” Charlie said. “I don’t know.I’m not real good at figuring out what I feel.Emotions are like this big unsolvable puzzle to me.I never even considered that I might …Not until David.”

“I almost killed him, you know,” Colby said.He took the hand that wasn’t gripped in Charlie’s and ran a trembling finger down Charlie’s cheek.“When I found out that he’d … with you. I almost killed him.”

“Why?”Charlie’s eyes were big in his pale face.

“Because … Because there was no way that he could care for you the way I do.”

“You care for me?”Charlie asked, his voice still questioning.

“A hell of a lot,” Colby said firmly, needing Charlie to understand, to believe him.

“Why?”Charlie asked again.

“Charlie,” Colby sighed.“Do you really need me to sit here and tell you all the reasons why someone would care for you?”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Charlie admitted then added, “I just don’t seem your type.”

“And what would my type be?”Colby asked, amused in spite of his discomfort.

“Athletic, macho.Well, like Don.”

“Don is smart and sexy and incredible, but he’s not you.”

“No?”Charlie asked in a small voice.

Colby studied Charlie’s face in the last fading rays of light.It was amazing that underneath the richly-deserved arrogance of a world-class mathematician was an unsure young man with a terrible inferiority complex about his big brother.

Colby stroked Charlie’s cheek with the back of his hand.“You are my type.”

“What type is that?”

“The Charlie-type.There is only one of this type in the world.”

“But Don … and David … and there had to have been lots of others in your life.”

“Charlie,” Colby said with a tired sigh.The pain of his ribs kept him from taking deep breaths and he was feeling lightheaded and exhausted.Not the sort of conversation he wanted to be having when he wasn’t on top of his game.But here he was, so he was going to have to muddle through it.He shook his head.“You can’t really expect to be the first person I’ve cared about, the first person I slept with.”

Raising his eyebrows, Charlie said, “Presuming a great deal, aren’t you?”

Colby winced.“I didn’t mean—I just meant that you matter a lot to me.”

“You probably say the same thing to Don or David.”

“Dammit, Charlie,” Colby snapped.“I love you but you can be a--,” he stopped cold, horrified. _Oh god, what did I just say?_

Charlie said smugly, “Thank you.That’s what I wanted to hear.”

Colby groaned and rested his head back against the wall.He’d just told Charlie, point blank, that he loved him.He would give his right leg if he could just take those words back. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

“Colby?”Charlie’s voice was quiet, subdued.

Colby opened his eyes and looked at Charlie.In the faint light remaining, he could barely see Charlie’s face, let alone read his expression.“What?” he asked brusquely.

“I’m sorry, sorry for pushing you, but I had to know.”Charlie squeezed the hand that still held Colby’s.“What if we die here?”

Colby’s anger deflated.“If we die here, then I’m glad I told you.” _And if we don’t die here, I may wish that I had._

“Me too,” Charlie said.He lifted up Colby’s hand and pressed his lips against Colby’s wrist.

Colby shivered, a faint hope stirring underneath his self-disgust.

Charlie pulled Colby’s hand so that Colby’s arm was again wrapped around Charlie’s shoulders.He kept a tight grip on Colby’s hand and snuggled deeper into his lap.

“I think I’m going to sleep now,” Charlie said groggily.

“But you said—“

“I feel safe now,” Charlie murmured. “You make me feel safe.”

Colby stared down at the dim shape of Charlie.He had no idea what to think, what to feel.A grey blanket was covering his mind and he knew that his body was cashing in the IOU he’d written to get himself this far.He could no longer keep his eyes open, could no longer remember why he needed to.He rested his free hand against Charlie’s cheek and spiraled into sleep.


	5. Gunshots in the dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/17/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 5  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 5 - Gunshots in the dark  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

**A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  It takes place after "Wrestling" (and all the rest of my other stories too).  Thanks to my betas!

 

Colby snapped awake, his heart pounding.Above him the staccato of gunshots, shouts, running feet, more gunshots.

“What’s going on?” Charlie asked anxiously.

“Shh!”Colby hissed and strained to hear what was happening far above them.

Sound exploded in the darkness in front of them.Shots hammered the concrete near their feet.

Instantly Colby grabbed Charlie, spun him around and shoved him into the corner, shielding him with his body.Gunshots spattered around them, tearing through the leaves, piercing the paint cans with sharp pings.

Colby pushed Charlie’s head down, covering it with his hands and sheltering it with his shoulders.He pressed Charlie tighter into the corner, ignoring Charlie’s soft grunts of pain as his wounded leg was bent underneath him.

Their only chance was silence and darkness.Colby gripped Charlie tightly.Charlie was shaking so hard that his teeth clattered.

Shouting, screams, distant gunshots then a hush.Colby didn’t move.His hands on Charlie warned him to stay quiet.

“Agent Granger?” called an unfamiliar voice.“Dr. Eppes?”

Colby tightened his hold on Charlie and breathed, “Shhh!”

“Are you alright?”The voice called again.“Hello?”

A waiting quiet then a vicious curse in a foreign language.Muzzle flash and bullets slammed into the concrete.Bits of leaves and chips of concrete peppered Colby’s back.Colby tried to be stone, steel.

The snap of another gun, then silence.

Colby held Charlie still, his muscles cramping with the effort, his ribs screaming in pain.The smell of gunpowder hung heavy in the air.

“Colby?Charlie?”

Did he know that voice?All Colby could be sure of was the pounding rush in his ears, the pain in his side, Charlie’s slim trembling body.

A scraping sound – the grill being lifted.Flashlight beams slicing through the darkness.The clatter of a rope hitting the floor.A slithering sound as someone came down the rope.

“Colby?” a voice asked quietly.A familiar voice. _Don._

Colby groaned in relief and released Charlie.

“Don!” Charlie cried.

“Charlie!” Don gasped and fell to his knees, gathering Charlie into a fierce hug.

Charlie held on to his brother and sobbed, great gasping sobs.Don held him close and rocked him.

“It’s okay, buddy,” Don said, his voice raw with emotion.“It’s okay.”

Colby put his head in his hands and let the tremors overtake him.

Colby had little chance to talk with Charlie after that.The next few hours were a blur of anxious faces, doctors, medication and bandages.Colby had multiple broken ribs and several deep gashes on his back and ass where bullets had grazed him.He hadn’t even been aware of them at the time.The back of his neck and arms from shirt sleeve down, every inch of skin that had been vulnerable, was marked by hundreds of tiny cuts from flying debris.

David also silently showed Colby his jacket which Charlie had been wearing draped over him when the shooting started.The jacket had fallen off when Colby had shoved Charlie into the corner.It was completely shredded, at least thirty bullet holes in the back alone. _Right where Charlie’s chest would have been… and my own pelvis._ Colby’s mind stuttered with the realization of how close he’d come to death, how close Charlie had come.

Don and Alan Eppes were constantly near Charlie, holding his hand or touching his shoulder, reassuring themselves of Charlie’s safety.For the last seven hours, they hadn’t even known if Charlie was still alive and had tried to prepare for the worst. _Not that you ever can._

Colby and Charlie’s captors were dead, killed in the gun battle that they’d heard above their heads.The last man had been killed while firing into their prison.Their kidnappers did indeed work for the Russian mob and Don would have to figure out how to not let this escalate any further, but not tonight.Tonight, Don and his dad held tight to both of Charlie’s hands as Charlie’s bullet wound was cleaned and bandaged.

The doctor agreed with Colby’s assessment that Charlie’s wound was as harmless as it was possible for a gunshot wound to be.The shock would have killed him though.

“Thank you,” Alan told Colby, his face red from tears and relief.“Thank you for saving my son’s life.”Alan took Colby’s hand in his own surprisingly strong grip.

Alan was standing by Colby’s hospital bed.David and Megan were there as well.Charlie had been taken to another room and Colby felt the beginnings of a terrible emptiness.

Colby sighed.“I wish I could have done more.”

“You did everything that could be done,” Alan said.“He’s alive and in g-good shape.The doctor said you stopped his bleeding, kept him warm and didn’t let him go too deep into shock.Not to mention saving him from being sh-shot again.”

“Good,” Colby said, tiredness washing over him.

“Thank you,” Alan said again, then left the room to return to Charlie’s side.Colby’s eyes followed him out the door, wishing he was going with him.

“You did everything you could,” Megan repeated quietly.“You did good.”

Colby grimaced and looked back at Megan.“I shouldn’t have let them take Charlie at all.”

“Oh, and it would have been better for you to die on the CalSci campus and have them take Charlie anyway?”Megan snapped.

“I could have stopped—“

“You’re not Superman,” Megan said, her voice still tinged with frightened anger.“You kept yourself and Charlie alive and that’s all that matters.”

Earlier, David and Megan had told Colby that they’d only found them by a large number of people doing hours of dogged searching and a big dose of luck.Don had gone completely insane, calling in favors from everyone from the LAPD to the U.S. Marshals to the local news helicopters.It had been a CHP officer that finally spotted the van that had been seen leaving CalSci.She had radioed it in, then watched the van until the small army of law enforcement could get there.The FBI-led force had attacked just minutes before the kidnappers’ deadline.Colby could easily picture Don as he lead the charge – his gun held ready but wearing too little protective gear, his face utterly focused, his body tight with tension.Colby hoped that it was Don’s bullet that killed the man who shot Charlie.

“Better take it easy now,” David said, squeezing Colby’s shoulder, “since there’s tons of paperwork waiting for you at the office.”

Colby smiled faintly.His eyes were drooping closed.There was no longer a reason to keep them open.Charlie was safe.

Megan patted Colby’s arm.“Get some sleep,” she said.“They’ll probably discharge you in the morning.”

Colby nodded and closed his eyes completely.He heard them leave the room and saw the light above him dim. _Discharge me …but to what?_


	6. Sleeping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/18/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 6  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 6 - Sleeping  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  It takes place after "Wrestling" (and all the rest of my other stories too).  Thanks to my betas!

 

Two days later Colby saw the footage that had been sent to the FBI from their kidnappers.It was horrific.There he was, bruised and bound, Charlie like an echo at his side.Colby saw himself kick out, catch one of his captors in the shin, then another push him over the edge of the hole.

Charlie had crouched down, panic showing in every line of his body.One of the men cocked his gun and aimed at Charlie, telling him to stand up.Charlie had stood up very slowly, begging, “Please, don’t, please.”Then a gunshot and Charlie disappeared, flung backwards.It looked like Charlie had just been executed.Colby heard his own voice screaming, “Charlie!”Even knowing that Charlie didn’t die with that shot, Colby found himself sweating, his stomach cramping.He hardly heard the kidnapper giving his impossible demands.

He listened to the urging from his coworkers and went home.He had broken two ribs and fractured two others.With that and overall body shock, he found himself tiring very easily.Also, he felt fractured in soul, longing for Charlie but fearing him at the same time.What would Charlie think, now that they didn’t die after all?

Colby went to bed at three in the afternoon and didn’t wake until two AM when his phone rang.He automatically picked it up and said, “Granger.”

“Colby?” came Charlie’s soft voice.

Colby sat bolt upright in bed, earning a jolt of pain from his ribs.“Charlie?What’s wrong?”

“I can’t sleep,” Charlie mumbled. “I can’t ever sleep.I just keep waking up, hearing guns and shouting.”

Colby winced.“I’m sorry.Have you—“

“Can I come over?”

“What?”

“Can I come over?” Charlie repeated.“Please?”

“Umm, sure.Of course.”

“Good, because I’m right outside.”

Colby set down the phone and pulled on a pair of handy shorts.He stumbled across his messy front room to the door.Yanking it open, he saw Charlie, standing on his porch, a crutch under his right arm.Charlie looked awful, his face pale and huge bags under his eyes, a few days’ stubble on his chin.

“I’m sorry I woke you up,” Charlie said.“I just can’t sleep.”

“Come in, come in.”Colby stood back from the door.Charlie limped inside and Colby shut the door behind him.Colby saw the state of his front room and grimaced.

“Sorry it’s such a mess,” Colby said, picking up old pizza boxes and piles of newspapers.“My cleaning person is out of the country this month.”

“It’s okay,” Charlie said.He lifted wide brown eyes.“I just want to sleep.”

“Oh, alright,” Colby said and began clearing off the couch.“I’ll sleep out here, just let me know if you—“

“No,” Charlie said. “I need you near me.”

“I’ll be right here if you—“

Charlie shook his head.“No, _with_ me.It’s the only way that I’ll be able to sleep, knowing that you will keep me safe.”

Colby stared at him, his heart aching for the lost, desperate look in Charlie’s eyes.“Okay,” he said.“Bedroom’s this way.”

Charlie nodded in relief and shuffled through the doorway.Colby followed slowly behind, wondering if he was still asleep and dreaming.But Charlie never looked like this in his dreams.

Inside Colby’s bedroom, Charlie tossed his crutch aside and sat on the bed.He kicked off his shoes, yanked off his socks and started pulling off his shirt.Stopping, he looked at Colby, “Do you mind?I thought I could just sleep in my jeans.”

“No, no,” Colby said and was pleased that his voice sounded calm, even.

Charlie stripped off his shirt, revealing a furry chest and lean muscles.He emptied his pockets of cell phone, car keys, and wallet, sticking them into his shoes.He then pulled back the blankets and climbed into Colby’s bed.Colby watched Charlie settle in the warm spot that Colby had just vacated.

“Coming?” Charlie murmured, his voice already shading towards sleep.

Nodding, Colby lifted the blanket and slipped in beside Charlie.He kept a careful distance but as soon as he stopped moving, Charlie curled up against him and laid his head on Colby’s bare shoulder.Colby cautiously put his arm around Charlie and rested his cheek against Charlie’s hair.Charlie gave a contented sigh.Between one breath and the next, Charlie was asleep.His chest hair tickled Colby’s side as he breathed.

Sleep, however, was the last thing that Colby could manage.What did it mean Charlie coming over here?Was it just a desire for a warm body to share a bed with or was it something more?

Colby had gone over again and again in his mind every word that Charlie had said during those long dark hours in the hole.Charlie hadn’t acted disgusted when Colby had admitted that he loved him, but he hadn’t exactly been eager to reciprocate.He’d seemed more … confused than anything.Colby had asked him what knowing that he cared would change, and Charlie had said, ‘I don’t know, maybe nothing, maybe everything.’Colby’s whole world hinged on that difference.

_My angel,_ Colby said silently and stroked Charlie’s stubbled cheek. _Please be here in the morning._

 

Colby awoke many hours later, feeling rested for the first time in days.His arm was numb and he looked over to see Charlie still curled up against him, his dark hair spread over Colby’s shoulder and chest.

He smiled. _It wasn’t a dream._

Charlie was snoring, none too softly. _What else would you expect with a nose like that?_ Colby wiggled his fingers carefully, trying to get some blood flow back into his arm. 

Was it his imagination or did Charlie look less pale, less haggard?Yes, his scruffy beard was even worse, but maybe, just maybe, being in Colby’s bed had been good for him. _It was certainly good for me._

He watched Charlie for about an hour before Charlie’s long lashes fluttered and his eyes crept open.He turned and looked at Colby and smiled muzzily.

“Good morning,” Colby said quietly.“How did you sleep?”

“Great,” Charlie said, sitting up and stretching his half-naked body luxuriously.“Great,” he repeated then leaned over and kissed Colby full on the lips.

It was a soft kiss, undemanding.A ‘Good Morning’ kiss.

Colby drew back, his heart pounding.“Don’t do that,” he said. “Unless you mean it.”

A haunted look came into Charlie’s eyes.“How can I know if I mean it?How can I know?There’s no empirical test, no rational measure that I can use.No formula to determine validity.How can I know? _How can I know?_ ”

Charlie looked positively panic-stricken and Colby reached his hand up to touch Charlie’s cheek. In their dark hole, Charlie had confided to Colby that emotions were a big unsolvable puzzle to him.

“What do you know, then?”Colby asked quietly.

Charlie’s face turned thoughtful.“I know … I know that you make me feel safe.”

_Well, that’s something at least._

“And,” Charlie added softly, “You make me feel loved.”

“You are,” Colby said with a catch in his throat.

“I enjoy being around you, talking with you.I want to spend more time with you, a lot more time.I want to share things with you, learn things about you.”

“All good,” Colby said.

Charlie laid a light finger on Colby’s chest.“I know I want to touch you and I want you to touch me.And I know that the idea of kissing you again terrifies me more than anything in the universe, but that it also electrifies me more than anything ever has.”

Holding Colby’s eyes with his deep brown ones, Charlie smiled shyly.“Maybe that’s a reasonable working definition of love.”

Colby tried to remember how to breathe.He laid a trembling hand over Charlie’s and held it tight.“A reasonable working definition,” he agreed, hope forming a painful knot in his chest.

“Would it be okay if I kissed you again?” Charlie asked.

In answer, Colby reached up and pulled Charlie’s mouth down to his.The kiss started soft then grew more intense as Colby poured all of his pent-up longing into it.Charlie’s lips parted to let Colby’s tongue inside.Charlie’s mouth tasted like sleep, root beer and heat.Charlie’s tongue circled around Colby’s and plunged into Colby’s mouth, probing hungrily.Charlie’s hand stroked Colby’s cheek then ran down his neck.

Colby’s hands slid around Charlie’s chest and pulled him closer, until Charlie’s full length pressed against Colby.He buried one hand in Charlie’s hair, deepening the kiss, and with the other hand stroked Charlie’s back.Charlie’s chest rubbed against his and a pleasant flush was spreading across Colby’s body.

Charlie leaned against Colby – and Colby hissed in agony as Charlie pressed against his broken ribs.

Charlie sprang back.“Oh, I’m sorry!”

Colby groaned in pain and frustration.“Not nearly as sorry as I am.”

Carefully, Charlie bent over and kissed Colby.“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.“I can wait.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Colby grumbled.

“You’ve waited this long,” Charlie said, running his fingers through Colby’s short hair.“I really hope I’m worth all the anticipation.”

Colby had to smile.“You are the oddest combination of incredible arrogance and total insecurity.”

“Yeah, well, give me a math problem and I’m all over it.It’s this people stuff that scares me.”

“I know,” Colby said, capturing a stray curl.“I’ll try to just ask you math questions from now on.”

Charlie laughed.“That would make for very short conversations.”

Colby yanked on his curl.“Arrogant brat,” he said affectionately.

“Been called that all my life,” Charlie grinned.“Even my dad—“His face went pale.“Damn!I better call my dad.He’s gonna be worried sick.”

Grumbling, Charlie climbed out of bed and fished his cell phone out of his shoes.He punched a speed-dial number and waited.

“Hi Dad,” Charlie said, then winced and held the phone away from his head.After a minute, he interrupted the noise from the other end of the phone.“Yeah, I know I left in the middle of the night last night. Yeah, I’m sorry I worried you.I’m at … a friend’s.No, I’m not going to tell you who.I’m an adult, I can sleep where I want.… No, no, I’m sorry I worried you.I should have told you I was going out.… Yes, thank you for not calling Don and getting the FBI out looking for me.I got a good night’s sleep though.… Yeah.You know I haven’t been sleeping.

“No, no,” Charlie half-laughed, “I didn’t go out drinking.No, I didn’t pick up some stranger in a bar.I’m safe.… Yes, I’ll be at Dr. Martins at 10am.”Charlie glanced at the clock.“I’ll come by home and get some clean clothes.Dr. Martins did say I could drive short distances.No, that isn’t supposed to be a clue to where I am. 

“Dad, please!I’m sorry, okay?I’m sorry I worried you.Now I’ll come by home but please don’t bug me about where I was.”He groaned.“No, I’m not at Amita’s, don’t get your hopes up.Bye.”

Charlie shut the phone and blew out a long breath.“I gotta go,” he said reluctantly.“I’ve got a doctor’s appointment then I need to go into work and reassure everyone I’m not dead.”

“Okay,” Colby sighed.

Charlie touched Colby’s shoulder.“Can I come back here tonight?”

“Yeah,” Colby said, startled.“Sure, any time.”

“How about eleven?I need to spend the evening with my dad, prove to him I haven’t gone off my rocker.Then I’ll be here.I’ll even bring a change of clothes.”He rubbed his cheek and grimaced.“And a razor.”

“Don’t worry about the razor,” Colby smiled.“I’ll give you a shave.”

Charlie raised his eyebrows but didn’t ask.Instead he leaned over and gave Colby a lingering kiss.“I’ll see you tonight.”He pulled on his shirt, filled up his pockets, tugged on his socks and shoes, and reached for his discarded crutch.

Then he was gone.Colby scooted over in bed to where Charlie had been laying and breathed in his scent.It smelled like sweat and chalk dust and something indefinable.He blinked at the clock and thought, _fourteen more hours and he’ll be back._

He contemplated going into work himself, but Don had made it clear that he was confined to light deskwork for at least a week.Besides, his apartment could really use a cleaning.

  



	7. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/18/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 7  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 7 - Waiting  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  It takes place after "Wrestling" (and all the rest of my other stories too).  Thanks to my betas!  
 

Colby was getting antsy when Charlie hadn’t shown by 11:30 PM.By midnight, he was sure that Charlie wasn’t coming.

Colby had spent the day cleaning up his apartment – moving carefully because of his ribs – and had even gotten a few things from the grocery store.

He was sitting on the couch, glaring at the TV when he heard a knock.Not thinking, he jumped to his feet, then had to grab his side and remember to breathe.He shuffled over to the door and flung it open.Charlie was standing there, a gym bag in his free hand.

Charlie hobbled inside, apologizing, “Sorry but my dad just wouldn’t let me get out of the house earlier.Him and Don tag-teamed me, trying to figure out where I was going.”He gave Colby a crooked smile.“I made Don promise on the grave of Joe DiMaggio that he wouldn’t tail me when I left.”

Colby laughed in spite of himself.“Think he kept that promise?”

“I don’t know, but I took the craziest way here that I could think of.”

Charlie stepped inside and Colby shut the door then stood awkwardly as Charlie looked around.

“You cleaned up,” Charlie said approvingly. 

“Well, tonight I thought I might have company.”

“Thought you might?”Charlie turned to look at Colby.“You weren’t sure?”

Colby gave him a one-shouldered shrug, trying to convey all his hopes and fears on the subject.

Charlie dropped his bag and stepped close to Colby.He grabbed Colby’s collar and kissed him warmly.Colby kissed him back, trying to be gentle and undemanding when all his body – except for a few annoying ribs – wanted to sweep Charlie into his arms, carry him to his bed and … _Better not think of that for now._

Breaking the kiss, Charlie smiled at him.“With how good I felt today, you may never sleep alone again.”

“Promises, promises,” Colby said, smiling back.

Charlie picked up his bag and walked into Colby’s bedroom.He set his bag on the dresser and said, “I’m pretty tired.Can we go to bed now?”

“Sure,” Colby said, still startled by how easily Charlie said those words.

Colby busied himself shutting down the rest of the apartment while Charlie changed into sleep clothes.Colby waited until he heard Charlie crawling into bed before he returned to the bedroom.He picked up his own shorts and changed in the bathroom.

Coming out of the bathroom, Colby asked, “When do you have to go to work tomorrow?”

Charlie turned over in bed and smiled at him.“Not until eleven.”He was wearing a pair of worn boxers.He pulled back the covers invitingly.“I plan on sleeping like a rock until then.”

“I didn’t know rocks snore,” Colby said, climbing into bed.

Charlie wrapped himself around Colby, then protested, “I don’t snore.”

“Oh, that must be the other Charlie Eppes I had in my bed last night.”

“Obviously,” Charlie chuckled.“Some sort of parallel universe or maybe a doppelganger.”

“The parallel snoring universe,” Colby laughed.“Gonna have to ask Larry about that one.”

Charlie smiled and closed his eyes.His body relaxed against Colby with the sudden release of tension.He gave a contented sigh.“Good night, Colby.”

“Good night, angel,” Colby said softly.

Charlie fell quickly to sleep, a smile still on his face.Colby closed his eyes, thanked God or whatever mysterious force had decided to be kind to him, and followed his Charlie into sleep.

 

The next morning, Colby gave Charlie a shave with his straight edge razor.It was a little hard for Colby to move freely with his sore ribs, but clearing off Charlie’s scruffy stubble to reveal his boyish face was pure pleasure.While Don had been nervous with Colby’s blade against his throat, though he’d tried to hide it, Charlie was completely relaxed and trusting.Colby wondered what he’d done to deserve such faith, but didn’t mind in the least.For his part, Charlie seemed quite pleased with the shave and demanded one every morning.

This was the pattern for the next three weeks.Charlie would show up at Colby’s apartment as early as ten PM and as late as one AM.Sometimes Charlie would come in bubbling with excitement about his latest math work and Colby would watch him with amusement as he stalked around the apartment, spouting things way over Colby’s head.Other nights Charlie would be quiet and tired and head straight for bed.Each morning Colby would give Charlie a shave and send him back out into the world.

Colby went back to work for good about a week after the kidnapping.He was restricted to dull desk duty, but at least it was something to keep him occupied in between his time with Charlie.

Colby and Charlie celebrated with a few beers on the couch when Charlie’s bandages came off for good and he was able to toss away the crutch.

Every day, Colby fell deeper in love.Charlie was opening up to Colby and his bright spirit was even more compelling than Colby could have imagined.Yes, Charlie was self-involved, stubborn, arrogant, obtuse, and over-emotional, but to Colby that felt like a much briefer list than his own shortcomings.Besides, Colby didn’t think he could love someone who was perfect.Sometimes Charlie’s flaws drove Colby crazy, but he was sure his own flaws did the same for Charlie.Any way he looked at it, loving Charlie was easy.

Every day, Colby also wanted Charlie more.It was a beautiful, terrible, constant ache.Sometimes he’d thought he’d die if Charlie kissed him good morning one more time in that chaste way.But he knew he’d die if Charlie stopped kissing him.

His ribs were slowly healing, far too slowly for Colby.He could have pushed his recovery, approached Charlie sooner, but Colby wanted their first time to be perfect.So he waited, and even gathered up the nerve to ask David what Charlie liked.David had looked at him with eyes that understood far too much, and then told him.Colby had gritted his teeth for about two minutes of David talking before he’d needed to go hit something.He was armed with information about Charlie’s tastes now, though he didn’t know if he could live up to it.

At least Charlie didn’t look like he was going anywhere.In fact, his stuff now occupied a full drawer in Colby’s dresser and half a dozen hangers in Colby’s closet.A blank notebook lay near the bed in case Charlie got any brilliant inspirations in the middle of the night.

Colby made a show of grumbling about the mess that Charlie left in his bathroom, but they both knew he didn’t mind.He was in the flush of early love, when everything that the other person did was completely adorable.Colby picked up the wet towels, put the cap back on the toothpaste, and wished time would pass more quickly.


	8. The brother

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/19/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 8  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 8 - The brother  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.  I've finally finished the last two parts so parts should be coming a tad more frequently.  Thanks to my betas!

 

“You better treat him right,” Don said out of the blue.

Startled, Colby said, “What?”

Don and Colby were alone in the break room and it was late in the evening.The FBI office was quiet and dark.Only David and Megan were still there and they were across the office in the conference room.

“If you hurt him, I will make your life a complete misery.”Don’s voice was matter-of-fact.

Sweat broke out on Colby’s forehead.“What are you talking about?”

Don looked at him, his eyes steady.“Charlie, my little brother, the person you’ve been sleeping with for the last few weeks.”

Colby took an involuntary step back.“I don’t know what you mean.”

Don gave him a half-smile.“Don’t worry, I’m not going to beat you up.I’ve learned a lot about Charlie since then.”

“How did you find out that he was coming to my place?” Colby asked with a mixture of anxiety and relief.

“I’ve known for weeks.”Don leaned back against the counter.“You don’t think I’d let him disappear every night without knowing where he was going?”

“But, but you promised, Charlie said.”

“I promised not to follow him.”Don said.“I didn’t have to.”

“Oh?” Colby thought they’d been so careful.

“I knew the moment Charlie walked in the house with a shave as smooth as a baby.”

Colby blinked, then smiled sheepishly.“Didn’t think of that.”

Don smiled then his face grew serious again.“Charlie is more important to me than my job, my reputation, my life.Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Colby said simply. “Because he’s that important to me.”

Don studied Colby’s face for a moment then nodded.“Okay, just so we’re clear.”

There was a moment of silence then Don said, “You’ve been good for him, you know.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.The first few days after the kidnapping we were really worried about him.He wasn’t getting any sleep and his wound wasn’t healing.Then he suddenly started to improve.”Don’s lips quirked.“Would never have guessed it was because he hooked up with you.”

“He said he couldn’t sleep except when I was there.”

“I had the hardest time keeping my dad from going crazy about Charlie’s nightly disappearances.But when Charlie started looking better, he calmed down a little.Still, I think he’s convinced it’s Amita.”

“Or some other female,” Colby added.

“Yeah,” Don said wryly.“Boy, is he gonna be surprised.” 

“I bet,” Colby said uneasily.“Not looking forward to that.”He shook himself.“No hurry though.”

“Dad’s gonna catch on eventually,” Don warned.“He’s not stupid.”

“No,” Colby agreed.“Not with you two as his kids.”

Don inclined his head, acknowledging the compliment.

“We haven’t, you know,” Colby blurted.

“Haven’t what?”

“Hooked up.”

“Oh come on, don’t try and tell me that you and he haven’t—“

“Broken ribs,” Colby reminded him.

“Oh.Oh!”Don began to laugh.“Poor Colby!”

“It’s been completely innocent,” Colby grumbled.“Driving me crazy.”

Don laughed harder, stopped, looked at Colby’s face and began laughing again.

“He’ll be worth the wait, you know,” Don said between laughs.“He’s a sexy minx in bed.”

Colby groaned at the reminder that Don and Charlie and David had slept together.“Has everyone had Charlie but me?”

“Just about,” Don said.His laughter trailed off and he wiped his eyes.

Don’s face sobered and he looked at Colby for a long moment.He checked that David and Megan had their backs to them then stepped closer to Colby and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.

“Once again,” Don said quietly.“Charlie gets everything I want.”

He picked up his coffee and walked out of the room, Colby staring after him.

  



	9. Pouncing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/19/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 9  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 9 - Pouncing  
(Yeah, sex finally!)  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.   Thanks to my betas!

 

 

 

When Charlie came through the door of his apartment two weeks later, Colby pounced.He knocked the folders Charlie was carrying to the floor and pressed Charlie against the wall, kissing him deeply and pushing his entire body against him.They broke apart, gasping for air.

“Colby?”Charlie asked, whole paragraphs of questions in that one word. 

In answer, Colby took Charlie’s hand and pressed it against his shirt, against the side that had worn bandages for so long.“Got cleared for active duty today,” Colby said, grinning like a maniac.“And I plan some very active duty indeed.”

“Finally,” Charlie declared, and kicked aside his papers.He reached for Colby’s shirt and pulled him close again.

No chaste good morning kiss, no promissory peck, had prepared Colby for the full-on intensity of Charlie’s mouth on his, Charlie’s tongue probing, demanding.

Colby had meant to take it slow, but Charlie’s kiss blazed through him, wiping out all his careful plans.Colby held the back of Charlie’s head with one hand and gripped Charlie’s ass with his other.Charlie responded just as urgently, his hands all over Colby as he nearly climbed into Colby’s clothes.

Suddenly, the bedroom and its neatly made bed seemed too far away.They stumbled to the couch, bodies welded together.Colby’s legs hit the couch first and he sat down, pulling Charlie on top of him and reacquiring Charlie’s mouth.

Colby tugged up Charlie’s vest and they broke apart long enough for Colby to pull the vest over Charlie’s head.Colby tossed the vest aside and began work on unbuttoning Charlie’s shirt.Charlie’s hands scrabbled at Colby’s t-shirt, yanking it up and diving underneath it.Charlie’s cold fingers drew ten icy trails across Colby’s bare skin.

Leaving Charlie’s mouth, Colby kissed Charlie’s cheeks and eyes and nose.He leaned Charlie back and nibbled his way down that long neck like he’d wanted to for so long.Charlie’s fingers found Colby’s nipples and began rubbing against them.Colby stripped off his shirt to give Charlie better access.Colby returned to kissing Charlie’s neck and Charlie pulled and twisted Colby’s nipples, as well as some chest hair, which only added to the sensation.

Colby sat Charlie back up so that he could use both hands to get Charlie’s shirt off. He forgot to undo the cuffs first so had to pull the shirt back on and tear at the cuff buttons.There was a ping as one of the buttons ripped away.Charlie gave a laugh that turned into a gasp as Colby‘s mouth swooped down.

Colby’s lips roamed across Charlie’s chest as he’d wanted to do every single night that he’d slept with a shirtless Charlie.His mouth fastened on Charlie’s left nipple while his hands slid down Charlie’s back to burrow under the waistband of Charlie’s jeans.Charlie responded by grinding his crotch against Colby’s torso.Through Charlie’s jeans, Colby could feel the hard shape of Charlie’s cock against his stomach as his own cock rubbed the inside of Charlie’s right thigh.

Charlie’s hands fumbled at Colby’s belt buckle then he growled in frustration.Colby transferred his mouth to Charlie’s other nipple, took one hand out of Charlie’s waistband and flicked his own belt buckle open.He unbuttoned his jeans and began to pull down the zipper.Charlie swatted Colby’s hand aside and yanked down the zipper himself.He barely had the zipper halfway down before shoving his hand inside Colby’s fly, scraping his hand on the zipper.Charlie’s hand closed around the tip of Colby’s cock through his underwear and Charlie made a triumphant sound.

Colby laughed against Charlie’s chest then groaned as Charlie began to rub the cotton fabric against his hard cock.Colby leaned up and then it was his turn to fumble with a jeans button.He quickly solved the problem and started to peel down Charlie’s jeans.He wanted them off, gone.

Taking hold of Charlie’s shoulders, Colby stuck out his legs.He pushed Charlie down until he lay against Colby’s shins.Colby then lowered his legs until Charlie’s head and shoulders were all the way on the carpet, his ass still cradled between Colby’s thighs.Colby winced as Charlie was forced to give up his grip on Colby’s cock by sheer gravity.

“Hey!” Charlie protested, but Colby was busy yanking off Charlie’s shoes and socks then dragging Charlie’s jeans and underwear over his legs.He held Charlie’s feet up above his head and tugged those interfering clothes off.

Looking down, Colby got his first view of Charlie’s cock.It was bigger than he expected, given Charlie’s body type, and already leaking pre-cum.Colby split Charlie’s legs, swooped down between them and took Charlie’s cock into his mouth with one gulp.

Charlie’s protests turned to moans as Colby worked the head in and out.Charlie tasted unexpectedly like salty lemons.Charlie was still head down on the floor, his thighs clamped around Colby’s head, his hands clenching spasmodically around Colby’s calves.

Reaching around Charlie’s hips, Colby took a good grip on the base of Charlie’s cock and devoured it.He meant to be gentle, but hunger overwhelmed him.

“God, Colby,” Charlie groaned.Then his voice suddenly shifted, “Wait, _wait_ , not yet.”

The urgency got through to Colby and he raised his head.Charlie was panting, his lips wet from biting on them.

“Not yet,” Charlie said again.He reached his hands up in a mute request.Colby pulled Charlie back up so that once again he sat on Colby’s lap.

Charlie had barely settled into place when he grabbed Colby’s face and kissed him urgently, his tongue probing into Colby’s mouth as if he was searching out his own taste.Colby’s hands slid down and kneaded Charlie’s bare ass.Charlie’s hands left Colby’s face and pulled at Colby’s half-open jeans.

“Off!” Charlie demanded.

Colby grinned and lifted up Charlie to set him on the couch next to him.He stood up and quickly stripped.He heard Charlie catch his breath when he saw Colby’s jock strap underwear, but he didn’t pause in dragging it off.

As soon as Colby turned back to him, Charlie grabbed Colby’s ass and tugged him close.Then it was Charlie’s turn to inhale Colby’s cock.Colby groaned and dug his fingers into Charlie’s shoulders.He didn’t think he’d ever seen anything sexier than Charlie’s mouth bobbing up and down his cock, his curly hair swinging, and the line of naked skin from Charlie’s back down to his slim ass.

Then Charlie looked up at Colby, his tongue sliding over the head of Colby’s cock, his big brown eyes almost black with lust, and Colby knew he’d have to add an entirely new level of sexy for Charlie.Colby felt his balls tightening.

“Together,” Colby gasped, tugging at Charlie’s shoulders.Charlie pulled away, a strand of saliva extending from his mouth to Colby’s cock.

Colby pushed Charlie back against the couch and climbed into his lap.Colby spit into his right hand and closed it around Charlie’s waiting cock, bracing himself against the back of the couch with his left hand.Charlie grabbed Colby’s cock in both his hands and lifted his face for Colby’s kiss.

Colby buried his tongue inside Charlie’s sweet mouth and stroked Charlie’s cock, making that little twist at the top of each stroke that always made David moan.It worked for Charlie too and Charlie’s hands on Colby’s cock turned rough, urgent.Colby’s left hand tightened on the couch and he jerked in Charlie’s hands then he was coming, his mouth shuddering against Charlie’s.

A second later, Colby felt Charlie’s cock pulse and hot cum splashed across Colby’s arm and stomach.Charlie moaned into Colby’s mouth and thrust against his hand over and over.For a long moment, they both pumped through long awaited orgasms until there was nothing left.

Colby leaned his forehead against Charlie’s and tried to catch his breath.Charlie’s breathing was harsh and panting, his hands still holding onto Colby’s softening cock.

“I’m gonna,” Charlie gasped.“send your doctor a thank-you card.”

Colby gave a wobbly laugh.“I had all these plans.None of them involved handjobs on the couch.”

Charlie chuckled.“The night is still young.”

Colby lifted his head and eyed the clock.It was after midnight.“No, it’s not.”

“Forget the time,” Charlie said. “I think you’ll be calling in sick tomorrow.”

“Or calling in healthy,” Colby responded, feeling giddy.“Wonder what they’d make of that – ‘I can’t come into work, because I feel great.’”

“You do feel great,” Charlie agreed, running his hands over Colby’s cum-streaked stomach.“Better than great.”

 


	10. Colby's new job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/20/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 10  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 10 - Colby's new job  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.   Thanks to my betas!

 

Colby peeled himself off of Charlie and grabbed a towel from the bathroom.He returned, wiping his hands and had to stop to take in the view of a naked Charlie sprawled across his couch.Charlie’s knees lay open, his face flushed, one of his curls sticking to his sweaty forehead.Colby’s cum dripped down his stomach. 

Charlie gazed back, his eyes traveling over Colby’s naked body.Charlie seemed to like what he saw, since he smiled and held out his hands.

Walking slowly towards Charlie, Colby wiped his own stomach.He stayed slightly out of reach and tossed Charlie the towel.Charlie used the towel then threw it to the floor.He reached out his hands again and Colby came closer.Charlie ran his hands over Colby’s thighs, knees, and calves.

“Even though I was pretty out of it in the hole,” Charlie said, using their shorthand for the kidnapping. “I could tell you had the nicest legs.I was lying against them for hours, you know.”

“Yeah,” Colby said, pushing the sweaty curl away from Charlie’s face.

“And the first night that I came over to the apartment and you were just wearing those little shorts…”Charlie’s hands slid up Colby’s hips to his stomach and chest.“It was a good thing that I was so dead tired because I really wanted to jump you right then, broken ribs or not.”

“You did look awful that night.”

“Every single morning that I woke up in your bed, in your arms,” Charlie continued softly, a blush coloring his cheeks. “I had to jerk off in the shower.”

Colby laughed.“Here I just thought you took long showers.”

“I feel like I’m fifteen again and waking up with a hard-on every morning.But when I was fifteen, I didn’t have the object of my … interest in bed with me.”

Colby sat down next to Charlie and pulled him close.“When you were fifteen you already had the whole Math world at your feet.”

Charlie grimaced.“And not one girl who would talk to me.”

“Probably not,” Colby said, lifting one of Charlie’s hands and kissing it. “You are pretty intimidating.”

Charlie ran his free hand over Colby’s shoulder.“But you’re not intimidated.”

“I sure as hell am,” Colby said wryly.

“Why?” Charlie asked, “You’re as good at your job as I am at mine.”

“Charlie, _nobody_ is as good at their job as you are.”

Charlie looked like he was going to argue then just smiled.“What if I gave you a new job, one I think you’d excel at?”

Colby leaned closer, liking the impishness in Charlie’s smile.“And what job would that be?”

“One I think you’re eminently qualified for,” Charlie said, his hand sliding down Colby’s chest.

“Yeah?” Colby kissed the inside of Charlie’s wrist, feeling Charlie’s quickening pulse under his lips.

Charlie murmured, his voice low and gravelly, “Fuck me.”

Colby inhaled sharply, a jolt of arousal going straight to his cock and waking it up.“Now that,” he said, standing up from the couch, “is my kind of job.”He reached down and grabbed Charlie’s hands.“Up, up,” he said, pulling Charlie to his feet.“Go to the bedroom, I’m right behind you.”

Charlie started moving towards the bedroom and Colby just stood there and watched him walk.Was that a swagger to Charlie’s walk?He knew Colby was looking at his ass … and he liked it.

_Oh, I’ve got my hands full …_

Colby followed Charlie into the bedroom.Charlie climbed onto the bed on his hands and knees.He stayed on all fours, spread his knees slightly, and looked over his shoulder at Colby.

Charlie was unabashedly posing and Colby’s body throbbed at the sight.

“God, Charlie,” Colby groaned and climbed on to the bed next to him.He ran his eyes and hands over Charlie’s back and ass.Coming up behind Charlie, he got to his knees between Charlie’s legs, and pressed his hardening cock against Charlie’s asscrack.

Charlie sucked in his breath but Colby was going to take it slow this time.He leaned over Charlie’s back and slid his arms under Charlie’s shoulders.Pulling Charlie up to his knees, Colby kissed the back of Charlie’s ears and the back of his neck.He kissed his way down Charlie’s spine, taking all of Charlie’s weight and slowly lowering him back to the bed.Charlie’s hands met the blanket again and Colby released him to run his fingers along Charlie’s furry chest and flat stomach.He sat back on his heels and traced the shape of Charlie’s hips and slim ass.He slid his tongue along the fold where each of Charlie’s asscheeks met his thighs, skipping right over the sensitive space between.

Sitting back up, he ran his hands down Charlie’s legs.They were lean but muscular and Colby remembered that Charlie liked to hike.Colby lifted Charlie’s right leg and flicked his tongue at the back of Charlie’s knee.He nibbled his way to Charlie’s ankle and found that Charlie was ticklish there.Charlie giggled and pulled away from Colby’s hand.Colby let him go, just to pick up Charlie’s left leg and give it the same treatment.Colby didn’t let that leg get away, and Charlie was soon squirming and twisting and laughing.

“Colby, stop it!” Charlie wheezed.

Colby let him go and grinned.“That’s for being such a sexy minx.”

Charlie flushed and smiled at him, obviously pleased at the compliment.

Colby finally gave into temptation and pulled Charlie’s ass near. He ran a thumb up Charlie’s crack then decided _forget slow_.With a hand on each of Charlie’s asscheeks, he yanked Charlie close and drove his tongue into that tight asshole.

Charlie gasped in mingled surprise and delight.Colby ran his tongue around the puckered opening then pressed in again.

“Oh Oh OH,” Charlie cried, his voice rising with each thrust of Colby’s tongue.

Charlie practically melted under the onslaught, his arms folding underneath him so that his face was pressed against the blanket.His legs buckled until all that was holding him up were Colby’s hands gripping his hips.

Colby’s tongue began to ache so he let go and Charlie slumped to the bed, still “oh”ing softly.Smiling at puddle that Charlie had become, Colby climbed off the bed and got the waiting lubricant and condom.He rolled the condom down his rigid cock and squirted a generous dose of lube on his hand.He got back onto the bed, next to the sprawled Charlie, and ran a lubricated finger down Charlie’s spine.

Charlie shivered and opened his eyes.“Fuck me,” he begged.

“That’s my job, remember?” Colby grinned.

However, Charlie’s words reminded Colby of one of the things he had planned to do.

“I … I …” Colby started then sighed.“I’m sorry, but I’m not very good at dirty talk.”One thing Colby had taken away from that awkward quizzing of David was that Charlie loved David to talk dirty to him.Colby always went tongue-tied when he tried to speak sexy.

Charlie blinked at him.“Why would you think that you had to …?”

“David said that –“

Charlie shook his head.“ _David_ is good at dirty talk.I like it when he does it because he’s good at it.”He grinned.“There are plenty of things you’re good at.”

Colby smiled in relief.“Hope so.”His wet finger continued its interrupted journey down Charlie’s back to Charlie’s ass, still glistening with Colby’s saliva.Colby circled Charlie’s asshole a few times, teasing, then gently pressed his finger inside.He moved slow, allowing Charlie plenty of time to adjust, until his finger was all the way inside.He twirled it around, loosening that tight ring of muscle at the entrance, then slid it along the tight firm walls until he felt the right spot.

Charlie moaned and wiggled underneath him and Colby’s cock throbbed with readiness. _Hold on,_ he told himself and stroked Charlie’s prostate until Charlie’s moans grew frenzied.He withdrew his finger and massaged Charlie’s lower back and legs, letting Charlie catch his breath.

Then he slid two fingers inside Charlie and worked him back up to a frenzy.Again he withdrew and rubbed Charlie’s back until Charlie’s breathing returned to near normal.Colby grabbed a small pillow and, lifting Charlie’s unresisting body, placed it under his belly.He let his fingers graze Charlie’s rigid cock before releasing him.Charlie made a small whimpering sound.

Colby spread more lube onto his cock and placed his knees on both sides of Charlie’s ass.He positioned himself and took a grip on Charlie’s hips.He raised Charlie’s hips, gradually impaling Charlie’s ass on his waiting cock.Charlie gave a satisfied sigh.

Their bodies joined, Colby began to lean forward, setting Charlie down on the pillow then he hesitated.Charlie looked so small underneath him, so fragile.

Charlie looked back over his shoulder and, for once, correctly read a facial expression.“Don’t hold back now.” Charlie grumbled.“I’m not made of glass.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Colby protested.

“I’m tougher than I look.If you hurt me, I’ll say ‘Ow’ and you’ll know.Otherwise, don’t worry about it, okay?”

Colby laughed.“Okay.”

And then he was moving inside Charlie and it was more than okay.He braced his hands to both sides of Charlie’s chest and started slowly stroking.David was right – Charlie had the sweetest ass.Colby swallowed against the sour taste of jealousy. _I have him at the moment.Better make the most of it._

Charlie moaned underneath him and all thought fled.There was only the one searing point of contact between them, his swollen cock in that tight hot tunnel.Little by little, Colby increased his rhythm.Charlie began to moan with each thrust, his face buried, his arms outstretched, his hands gripping the blanket like an anchor.Charlie’s cock was pressed against the bed but, because of the pillow, not squished.It was sliding against the bed with Colby’s every thrust.

Colby summoned up all of the self-control he had and held back his orgasm.Charlie writhed underneath him and Colby felt the tightening of Charlie’s ass that told him Charlie’s orgasm was near.Colby slammed into Charlie’s ass, over and over, until Charlie shuddered and cried out, then Colby let himself go.

They rode out their orgasms together, waves of pleasure crashing through their bodies like the relentless pounding tide.Charlie’s orgasm seemed go on and on, pulling Colby along with him.

Colby slowly came back to awareness and found he was trembling all over.Charlie was still gasping underneath him, his hands clenching and unclenching on the blanket.Colby sank down until he was lying against Charlie’s back.

“Charlie, Charlie, Charlie,” Colby murmured, laying his cheek on Charlie’s neck and gathering Charlie into his arms.

Charlie responded with stunned whimper.

“Angel?” Colby asked. “You okay?”

“Uh-huh,” Charlie mumbled.“What wazzat?”

“What do you mean?” Colby said, reaching up to pull the hair out of Charlie’s face.

“Was like _bam_ and _oh_ and _wow_.”

“Ah,” Colby smiled.“Sounds like a prostate orgasm.”

“Please, sir,” Charlie mumbled.“Can I have another?”

Colby laughed.“I don’t think you’d survive it.”

“Willing to try …”

Colby shook his head and pulled out of Charlie.“Greedy boy.”

“Yeah,” Charlie said, his face still buried in the blanket.

Shaking slightly, Colby crawled off the bed and managed to make it to the bathroom.He disposed of his condom and got a fresh towel.Back in the bedroom, he rolled an unresisting Charlie over and wiped him clean then wiped up the puddle of cum on the blanket and pillow.

He tossed the towel aside and lifted Charlie into his arms.Balancing the limp Charlie against him, Colby tugged down the blankets.He lay Charlie down and put a pillow underneath his head.He went around to the other side of the bed and crawled in.

As soon as Colby pulled the covers over himself, Charlie summoned up an ounce of energy and half-rolled, half-flopped into Colby’s arms.

Charlie mumbled in Colby’s shoulder, “Gonna fuck you now.Just need … a minute …”His voice trailed off into a snore.

Colby held Charlie tightly.He was so in love that his heart hurt.He didn’t know what the future held, or even tomorrow, and he should just be happy he had tonight with Charlie.But he wanted so much more.

Biting back a sigh, Colby wrapped himself around Charlie, laid his head against Charlie’s hair, and slept.

  



	11. A good morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/21/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 11  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 11 - A good morning  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This will be a 12-part story.   Thanks to my betas!

 

Colby opened his eyes the next morning and panicked when he didn’t immediately see Charlie.Then he felt a soft touch on his chest and looked to the other side of him.Charlie was kneeling on the floor next to the bed, his eyes and fingers exploring Colby’s naked body in the sunlight.

“So many scars,” Charlie murmured.His fingers traveled over a wide patch on Colby’s right shoulder of tiny white scars.

“Shrapnel,” Colby said quietly. _From the bomb that killed Mark._

Charlie traced a long white scar along Colby’s abdomen.

“Knife.”

Charlie touched a faint indentation on Colby’s neck.

“Bullet.”

“In your _neck_?”

“Better than my head.”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Charlie said, the tremor in his voice coming through despite his effort at a light tone.“Your head is so hard the bullet would have probably just bounced off.”

“Probably.”Colby watched Charlie’s face.

Charlie’s fingers moved across Colby’s chest and over to Colby’s left arm then down both legs, touching the multiple faded marks that could be found if looking closely.

“Lots more bullets.”Colby grimaced.“Sorry that you have to see all that.”

“Sorry?”Charlie said, startled.“Why would you be sorry?It’s part of you.”

“Not exactly the good part.”

Charlie frowned and Colby recognized that expression.It meant that Charlie was trying to puzzle through a “people” thing.Finally he shrugged and simply said, “It doesn’t bother me.”

“Scoot over,” Charlie said with a smile.“And let me show you.”

Colby slid over and Charlie climbed onto the bed.Still on his knees, Charlie leaned over and softly kissed Colby.Colby kissed him back just as softly, carefully touching Charlie’s cheek like he expected Charlie to vanish any moment.

Charlie’s lips moved over Colby’s face, exploring it.Charlie ran his fingers through Colby’s hair and along his ears.He nibbled along Colby’s chin and down his neck.His lips reached the scar on Colby’s neck and he sucked on it gently.

Shifting his body, Charlie kissed his way over Colby’s chest and shoulders, lingering on each scar and old wound.He placed a special kiss on the spot over Colby’s recently healed ribs.

He looked up at Colby, his eyes soft.“So, have I convinced you yet that I think your body isn’t marred and ugly?”

“Maybe,” Colby said, a little breathlessly.“Though a little more convincing wouldn’t be a bad thing.”

Charlie smiled and leaned down to kiss his way down Colby’s stomach and legs.His lips unerringly found each mark and scrape, even childhood scars.

“Turn over,” Charlie said.

Colby turned over and Charlie made his way up Colby’s legs, ass, back, once again pausing at each scar.Charlie’s mouth was like a blessing, covering Colby in a warm cocoon of appreciation.

Reaching Colby’s neck, Charlie murmured in Colby’s ear, “Now have I convinced you?”

“Yes,” Colby said dreamily.

“Good!”Charlie said, and bit his neck.

“Ouch!” Colby yelped.He turned over and grabbed Charlie’s face.“What was that for?”

“I want to make my own marks,” Charlie grinned and nipped after Colby’s fingers.

“I don’t need any more,” Colby laughed, keeping his fingers away from Charlie’s teeth.

Charlie shrugged expressively then pushed Colby back down on the bed.“Guess I’ll have to mark you another way.”He leaned over and kissed Colby on the mouth, much more firmly.Colby welcomed him with lips and tongue.

Charlie laid full length on top of Colby and kissed him with enthusiasm.Colby’s hands slid down Charlie’s back and ass, molding Charlie against his body.The firm shape of Charlie’s cock pressed against his own.Charlie moved his hips, rubbing their cocks together.

“Finally,” Charlie said, his hands burrowing into Colby’s short hair.“I can do something fun with my morning hard-on.”

“Oh?”Colby said, his fingers straying towards Charlie’s asshole.“What do you have in mind?”

“I believe I proposed something in particular last night.”Charlie bit Colby’s left earlobe.“Before you fell asleep.”

“Before _I_ fell asleep?”

“Yeah, you wore yourself out fucking me,” Charlie said blithely, sliding his whole body against Colby’s.“Poor boy, such a tough job I gave you.”

Colby’s breath was coming faster and he wanted to flip Charlie over and fuck him again, but he wasn’t going to give into Charlie’s teasing. _At least not yet._ He said, “I deserve overtime.”

“What, the benefits of the job aren’t sufficient?”Charlie asked, his lips just inches from Colby’s.Colby lifted his head to kiss him but Charlie moved away, grinning.

Colby gave an exaggerated sigh.“With the long hours of fucking, tedious constant orgasms, never knowing what shape you’re going to be in the morning …”

Charlie laughed and Colby felt the laughter rumbling through him, like a full body vibrator.Colby yanked Charlie’s face down so that he could kiss him thoroughly.

After a breathless moment, Charlie broke away and rolled off of Colby.Colby reached for him, not wanting to be separated from him for an instant.Charlie took Colby’s outstretched hand and kissed his palm.Charlie’s eyes were bright and dancing, in a way that Colby had only ever seen when Charlie was explaining some genius math theory.

“Up,” Charlie commanded. “On your knees.”

Grinning at the bossiness in Charlie’s voice, Colby got to his hands and knees in front of Charlie.Charlie immediately began rubbing his palms over Colby’s ass.

“Wow,” Charlie said.“You really have a nice ass.”

“About time you noticed.”

Charlie chuckled.“All of me is noticing now.”

Charlie spread Colby’s asscheeks apart and ran his thumbs down the crack between.With both thumbs, he kneaded Colby’s asshole while digging the rest of his fingers into Colby’s cheeks.Colby felt his ass warming up.He watched Charlie over his shoulder, wanting to touch him, not just be touched.

Charlie slid off the bed and padded around to the side table.He laughingly avoided Colby’s attempts to grab him and returned the end of the bed, lube and condom secured.

When Charlie touched him with lube-cold fingers, Colby jumped a little.Charlie ran wet fingers along Colby’s hanging balls, Colby sucking in a breath as Charlie toyed with that extremely temperature-sensitive part of his body.Charlie reached between Colby’s legs and stroked his throbbing cock.Colby bit his lip.

Those wet fingers finally turned towards Colby’s asshole.Charlie rubbed the tight circle then pressed one finger slowly in.Colby shivered, more at the intimacy of the touch than the cold.He suddenly wanted Charlie all the way inside him, “marking” him.

Charlie also seemed impatient and he quickly but with steady pressure slid a second finger inside.Colby willed his body to relax, welcome the penetration.Charlie pulled his fingers out and fumbled with the condom, the thin material slipping from his lubricated grasp.Seeing this over his shoulder, Colby was about to move to help Charlie when he got it on and turned back.

Colby continued to watch as Charlie gripped the base of his cock with one hand and spread Colby’s ass with the other.Colby felt the firm head of Charlie’s cock at his asshole then it was pressing in, splitting him open, filling him up.

Charlie murmured happy nonsense and closed his eyes.Colby watched him toss his head back and grip Colby’s hips.Charlie began to move slowly, his cock sliding across Colby’s prostrate, sending pleasant ripples through Colby’s body.

Colby’s neck was aching from trying to turn his head completely around.He dropped his head between his shoulders and closed his eyes.He could feel Charlie’s hands on his hips, Charlie’s cock stroking him deep inside, but …

“Charlie,” Colby said huskily.“I want to see you.”

After a few more strokes, Charlie pulled out of him and Colby rolled onto his back and slid a pillow under his head.Colby put his hand under each of his knees and pulled his knees up and to the side.Charlie looked appreciatively at the display.Instead of returning directly to his task, Charlie leaned down and mouthed Colby’s balls then tickled with his tongue the inch of skin between the balls and asshole.Moving farther down, Charlie’s tongue toyed with Colby’s already sensitive asshole.

His eyelids heavy with arousal, Colby watched that curly head moving below his balls and rigid cock.Charlie’s clever tongue teased Colby’s asshole until Colby was forced to gasp, “Get back in!” 

Charlie lifted his head, licking his lips like a boy that had just finished an ice cream cone.“Yes, Agent Granger?” he asked innocently.

“Charlie,” Colby groaned. “I didn’t want you to stop, I wanted to see you.”

“See me what?”Charlie said, actually _batting_ his eyelashes.

_Sexy minx, indeed._ Colby shook his head in wonder.“What I meant is I want to see you fuck me.”

“Mmm,” Charlie grinned.“Anything to help the FBI.”He braced himself with one hand beside Colby’s ribcage and directed his cock with the other hand.Colby felt the pressure of Charlie’s cock at his lubricated asshole then Charlie pushed inside until he was completely buried.Colby let go of his knees and wrapped his ankles around Charlie’s thighs.Charlie slowly lowered himself down until he was lying with his cheek against Colby’s neck.Colby sighed happily.

Charlie braced himself up on his elbows and leisurely began moving, Colby’s cock rubbing between his stomach and Charlie’s. Colby ran his hands down Charlie’s sides then cupped his face.Before long, Charlie began to speed up.Colby buried his hands in that curly hair and watched color creep over Charlie’s neck and face.To Colby, Charlie’s cock in his ass and his own cock’s stimulation were nothing compared to the eroticism of watching the orgasm rise in Charlie’s face.His eyes fluttered shut and his moist lips fell open and panting.Charlie was making little noises in the back of his throat.

Charlie began slamming into Colby, his hair swinging with each thrust.He braced his hands against Colby’s shoulders.Colby suddenly felt his own orgasm coming and he pushed his fingers into Charlie’s hair and his heels into Charlie’s thighs.Pleasure thudded through him, all the more intense for catching him unaware, and he pumped his cum between their joined bodies, groaning Charlie’s name.

Colby had barely stopped when Charlie cried out and exploded inside him, thrusting wildly against Colby’s ass, his fingers digging into Colby’s shoulders.Charlie above him, flushed and sweaty and orgasmic, was the most beautiful thing Colby had ever seen.

Charlie slowed down very gradually, his eyes fluttering open again.He looked down at Colby with an expression – _surprise? -_ that Colby couldn’t be sure of.Charlie’s elbows gave out and he collapsed onto Colby’s chest.

Stroking Charlie’s hair, Colby murmured, “Charlie,” over and over again.He could feel Charlie’s gasping breath on his skin. Charlie said something Colby couldn’t hear, though he felt Charlie’s mouth move.

“What was that?” Colby asked.

Charlie lifted his head and looked at him, his eyes wide and thoughtful.

Colby reached to stroke Charlie’s cheek.“Is something wrong?”

“No,” Charlie breathed, his voice hushed.“Nothing in the universe is wrong.”

Colby smiled and didn’t press, though Charlie definitely looked like he had something on his mind. _Probably a new math formula._ He expected Charlie to reach down and get his handy notebook. _Well, if sex with me can help Charlie with his math, I’m happy to oblige …_ Somehow that thought came out more bitter than he expected and he shrugged off his mood.How could he be anything but completely content with Charlie’s recently spent cock still in his ass?

Charlie didn’t go for his notebook, rather laid his head back down on Colby’s chest.Colby ran his fingers softly down Charlie’s back.Charlie was silent for so long that Colby assumed he’d fallen asleep.

Colby was about to reach for the blanket to pull it over them when Charlie groaned and said, “If we don’t clean up, we’re going to be permanently stuck together.”

“There are worse fates,” Colby said, smiling.

Charlie smiled back and rolled off of Colby. He grabbed a clean towel from the bathroom and wet it down under the faucet.He scrubbed himself off then did the same for Colby.

“At this rate,” Colby mused.“I’m going to have to do laundry before I can take a shower.”

“Oo, a shower,” Charlie said, his eyes lighting up.“Let’s do that.”

Colby laughed.“I don’t think my shower stall will handle two.”

“We can squeeze,” Charlie said.“I’m pretty sure of my geometry.”

“Okay, we can try it,” Colby said.“But not just yet.”

“Why not?”

“God, I need at least a quick breather!” Colby grumbled.

“Ookay,” Charlie said with an exaggerated sigh.He crawled back onto the bed and into his favorite position – lying on his stomach with his chin in his hands on Colby’s chest.

Colby took the nearest black curl between his fingers. “When do you have to go into work?”

Charlie shrugged.“I don’t have any classes today and I’ll just blow off office hours.My students are used to that by now.They’ll just think I’m working a case for the FBI.”

“Well, you are,” Colby teased.“I’m FBI and you’re definitely working me.”

“True,” Charlie grinned.

Stretching so to not dislodge Charlie, Colby grabbed his phone.He cleared his throat and dialed the office.

“Eppes” came Don’s crisp voice from the other end of the line.

“Don,” Colby said, trying to keep his voice normal.“If there’s nothing in particular you need me for, I’m gonna take a personal day, if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” Don said curiously.“Everything okay?”

“Yep,” Colby said.“Doctor cleared me yesterday for active duty.”

“Good!”Don said then after a pause.“Ahhhh.Well, tell him ‘Hi.’”

“Umm, okay,” Colby said. “See you tomorrow.”

He hung up the phone and smiled sheepishly at Charlie.“Don says ‘Hi.’”

Charlie blinked.“He knows?”

“He’s known for a long time.”

“And he’s okay with it?”

Colby nodded slowly.“Mostly okay.”

“At least he didn’t beat you up.… Did he?”

“No, no,” Colby laughed.“He just gave me some stern warnings.”

“Always looking out for me,” Charlie grumbled.

“You need looking out for,” Colby grinned and stroked Charlie’s cheek.“Or else you’ll get yourself into all sorts of trouble.”

Charlie grinned back.“Like being in bed with a naked man who has one thing on his mind?”

“I don’t just have one thing on my mind,” Colby said, drawing a finger along Charlie’s lips.“I have many things on my mind, all lascivious.”

“Ooh, a big word for an army guy.”

“I’m a big army guy.”

“I’ll say,” Charlie laughed and ran his hands down Colby’s sides.“There’s got to be entire inches I haven’t explored yet.”

“Can’t have that,” Colby said, his hands sliding along Charlie’s arms.“And there are many inches of you that need a more thorough exploration.”

“All in the name of science,” Charlie grinned and leaned down to start at Colby’s mouth.

 


	12. One more revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.

Originally published: 10/21/06 

**Title:** It Changes Everything, Part 12 of 12  


**Pairing:**

Colby/Charlie  


**Rating:** FRAO (NC-17)  


**Summary:**   Colby and Charlie share a traumatic experience that changes their relationship.  
Part 12 - One more revelation  
  
**Disclaimer:** Not my characters, not my world.  
  
**Feedback:** Yes, please! Feed the author!  
  
**Warnings: Lemon, M/M, Anal. Do not read if you are under 18.**

 **A/N:** This is the last part of this story.  Hope everyone enjoyed!

  


It was late in the morning when their bodies were finally spent and they had to stop, for now.The floor in the bathroom was covered in water from their laughing attempts at co-showering.Pillows and bunched-up blankets were scattered everywhere.Colby’s body ached with a deep but pleasant exhaustion.They ended up on the bare mattress, the sheets long ago ripped off.Colby stared muzzily at the ceiling and Charlie lay against his chest, idly drawing symbols only he could see on Colby’s skin.

After a long agreeable silence, Charlie murmured, “Did David tell you how I found out about him and Don and you?”

“Yeah,” Colby said, looking down at Charlie. “You came to Don’s apartment and found David there.They told you about Watson.”

“Um-hmm,” Charlie continued, his eyes on his invisible writing.“I didn’t understand it at all, and I felt I really needed to understand it.I knew at the time that, in theory, I could approach you.That I could ask you to show me what was so great about … sex with guys.”

Colby’s eyebrows shot up.“But?”

Charlie shrugged one shoulder and looked up at Colby. “But the idea terrified me.I focused entirely on David.I think now that I discarded the idea of approaching you because I knew that … being with you would mean something entirely different than with David.”

“How so?”

“Sex with David is fun – God, it’s fun – but it’s on a purely physical level.”Charlie smiled at the memory.“He wants me and I want him and we give each other a ton of pleasure.”

Colby looked away, gritting his teeth in jealousy.

Charlie gently turned Colby’s face back towards his and made Colby meet his eyes.“With you, it’s different.You make me feel incredible, better than incredible.”He fumbled with his words but pressed on, “When we … it’s not just sex.It’s like having sex with our bodies and our souls.Does that make any sense?”

“Yes,” Colby managed hoarsely.

“Okay, maybe not the first round,” Charlie grinned. “That was all sex.”

Colby’s lips quirked.“Sex and way too long waiting.”

Charlie’s face went quiet and took on his “trying to figure people out” expression again.Colby smiled, knowing that it could be a while, and crawled out from underneath him.

“We need food,” Colby declared.He walked into the bathroom and splashed his face with water.He looked at himself in the mirror and saw a happy, relaxed Colby looking back at him.It had been years since he’d seen that Colby.

Trying not to think too much about anything, Colby wandered into his kitchen.He examined the contents of his fridge and decided that he could make omelets.He put his head back in the bedroom to find Charlie in the same position he’d left him.

“Do you like omelets?” Colby asked.

“You can cook?” Charlie said, as if the idea never occurred to him.

“A little,” Colby said.“Can’t do take-out all the time.”

“I make a decent spaghetti sauce,” Charlie said, climbing out of bed.

“Well, nothing to make that with,” Colby said, “so it’s gotta be omelets or … something else that’s mostly eggs.”

“Omelets are fine,” Charlie said, smiling.“Got any cheese?”

“Hmm?” Colby asked, distracted by the naked Charlie walking towards him.

“Cheese, G-Man,” Charlie laughed.

“Yeah, yeah,” Colby said.“And ham and some tomatoes that look okay.”

“Sounds good.” Charlie brushed by Colby and went to sit down at Colby’s small dining room table.He leaned his elbows on the table and looked at Colby.

“Come on,” Charlie said.“I wanna see you cook naked.”

Colby raised his eyebrows.“Finding a new fetish?”

“Dunno,” Charlie said.“Can you have a person-fetish?” 

_Yeah, Charlie,_ Colby wanted to say. _It’s called love._

Instead Colby said, “Want to see a trick a buddy taught me?”

“Just as long as it can be done naked.”

Colby laughed at Charlie’s single-mindedness and opened the egg carton to see how many he had. _Enough for a few misses._ He got out a mixing bowl and a butcher knife.He held the knife edge-up above the bowl and took an egg from the carton.

“Watch!” Colby said and tossed the egg into the air.

 

When Charlie came over the next night at 8 PM, Colby took the early arrival as a sign and steeled himself.He needed to do this.Needed to take that next frightening step.Colby took a deep breath and blew it out his nose.Charlie looked at him curiously.

Colby cleared his throat and said, “How about we go out to a movie tonight and dinner?Somewhere public?”

Charlie raised his eyebrows.“Colby, are you asking me out on a date?”

“Yes … if you want to.”

Charlie smiled.“You’ve done it all backwards.First you tell me you love me, then I move in, then we have sex, then you ask me out on a date?”

An answering smile formed on Colby’s lips.“Well, when you’re chasing the great Charles Eppes, you have to be a little unconventional.”

“Who’s chasing?”

“I’m chasing,” Colby said, stepping closer to Charlie.

“Well,” Charlie said, closing the remaining space between them and slipping his arms around Colby’s neck.“You caught me.”

“Yeah,” Colby said softly, still astonished by the miracle of it.

“Now that you’ve caught me,” Charlie said impishly. “What are you going to do?”

“Hmm.” Colby wanted to appear with Charlie outside the apartment, do the normal ‘couple’ things, prove to Charlie that it wasn’t all about sex.Still, that didn’t mean it couldn’t be _any_ about sex …Colby slid his hands down Charlie’s back to his ass.“Many ideas come to mind, very few which can be done in public.”

Charlie grinned and ruffled Colby’s hair.“There's always later movie showings.”

Colby pulled Charlie against his already warming body. “And all night diners.”

“Probably even early morning movie showings somewhere,” Charlie fired back.

“Or late morning showings.”

“And lunch,” Charlie said. “Or an afternoon snack.”

Colby laughed with a joy that threatened to burst his chest and leaned down to kiss Charlie.

Charlie returned his kiss then leaned back.Charlie’s face was serious.

“What’s wrong?”Colby asked, his joy dimming.

“I need to warn you,” Charlie said softly.“I’m very greedy.”His eyes fixed on his fingers stroking Colby’s neck.“I’m not going to be willing to share you.I want all of you, all the time, the good and the bad and the messy.”

Colby’s throat tightened with emotion.“You’ve got me.I’m all yours.”

“I mean, I mean … an exclusive relationship,” Charlie said, even softer.“No David, no Don, no … anybody else.”His eyes met Colby’s and Colby caught his breath at the fear in those big brown eyes.“Is that too much to ask?”

“Oh, angel,” Colby groaned, hugging Charlie tightly.“It’s not too much to ask.You’re more than enough for me.I just hope that I’m enough for you.”

Charlie gave a shaky laugh.“There’s a lot of you.”

Colby pulled back from the hug.“But I’m not smart.I don’t know what you’re talking about most of the time.I have a scary job with crazy hours and a lousy salary.I have a past that’s pretty ugly and a future that’s uncertain and not much to offer someone who’d no doubt win the Nobel prize for Math if there was one and—“

Charlie put a finger on Colby’s lips.“You know that working definition I was talking about that first morning I stayed over?”Charlie paused, gathering himself.“Well, it has stood up to empirical study and the scrutiny of my peers - at least Larry - and I can confidently declare it validated.”

Colby stared at him for a moment than his eyes grew wide. “You mean …”

“I mean,” Charlie said shyly. “I love you.”

“No shit?”Colby gasped.

Charlie grinned.“No shit.”

Colby’s joy burst out of his chest and lit up his world with warm yellow light.He whooped and spun Charlie around.

“I love you too, my wonderful Charlie,” Colby cried then scooped Charlie up into his arms.Charlie wrapped his arms around Colby’s neck, smiling wide enough to split his face in half.

“And when I get through with you tonight,” Colby said, carrying Charlie towards the bedroom, “there isn’t going to be a single cell in your body that doubts it.” Colby growled playfully as Charlie started to speak, “Don’t tell me how many cells that is.”

Colby pushed open the bedroom door, dropped the laughing Charlie right in the middle of their bed and shut the door behind them.


End file.
